The Lockhorns by Bunny Hoest and John Reiner for December 27, 2024

No, they’re the ones who identify as proteins.

You’re thinking of fanny traps.

No, Loretta—they go straight to your HEAD!

Loose lips inflate hips.

No, they go straight to the coronary arteries. No such thing as a good trans fat. Stuff will kill you.

OK, there’s a code hidden in the eye chart (which has no business being there otherwise). Somebody help me out here.

Trans fats are the ones that taste good. Rule One in cooking: Fat equals flavor.

Hips don’t lie Loretta.

They are fats that can’t figure what gender they are.

no those are the ones that mess up your brain

No, trans fats are those used for making automobile gear lubricant.

True (and horrifying) fact: up until it was banned in 1973, automatic transmission fluid commonly contained whale oil. Which explains the old comment, “if the starter sounds like Flipper, it must be a Plymouth!”

Why is she asking a dietary question of the eye doctor?