Luann by Greg Evans and Karen Evans for May 19, 2016

So, Dez, do you have some mystical deck that does tell you how to do something?

“An eyeball, a snail and a donut. What does that mean?” The worst cafeteria lunch ever?

wow, thanks for nothing captain obvious

The answer is, she wants to be married, have a husband, kids and a home.

Bernice is a real mocking bird, not a good quality for her intended profession.

Next, try casting chicken bones.

The snail describes the life of a cartoon character. They live in a time warp where it takes weeks for a day to pass.

Ms Snark is kinda funny. At least it doesn’t bother Dez.

There’s that Bernice sarcasm she’s been famous for all these years. All that’s missing is sitting on the floor in the bedroom.

Well, looks like Bernice is back to her snarky ol’ self.

I miss Delta. I wonder if Luann will ever visit her in Washington DC.

The answer is, 42.

I wonder if the “Destiny Deck” comes up with things like, “Jump in the ocean at midnight during a hurricane”?

Obviously, she needs to look at a snail-flavoured doughnut.

I thought last summer when Lu decided to work with the kids and save money for her trip to NY with Q, she told Q that she found out that she really enjoyed teaching kids. Somewhere along the line I thought she once said she would like to be a kindergarten teacher … or something like that.why is the only class WE HAVE SEEN HER TAKE IS THE ART CLASS? Why have we not seen her take any courses in elementary ed or any courses related to that field? We’ve seen this arc so many times, I have gotten lost.

As for Bern going back to her old snarky self… yeah I find that really annoying and definitely not in tune with her chosen career path.

Well, I declare the Deck of Destiny…appus crappus! You may quote me on that.

Eyeball, snail, doughnut means I see my doughnut is taking forever to get here.

funny since snarky B has figured it out that she wants to be a psych major and be a counselor, yet we have never seen her step foot inside a classroom…. Guess see in her in class is not in Team Evans " Destiny Deck". B only gets to hand out her " counselling advice" on friends in the real world like Lu , Gunther and Piro. Kind of ironic but maybe she needs to practice what she preaches… that is part of her “charm” I guess.

wow! that’s one smart deck!

Lay your cards on the table, ask, and the Great Spirit will answer all.This time, the Great Spirit says “watch me very slowly eat a donut.”

7Hmm. It is showing her need to have a “life path”. That is of course good, but Luann (as stated) already knows that. Hopefully the obvious cards though, may send her into action. Now, I am wondering… will it be Bernie’s turn to have the “Destiny Deck” reveal something for her? If so, that could be very interesting. I hope Dez does give Bernie a “Destiny Deck” turn.

Bernice is so low key funny.

Luann already knows that “what”; what she needs is the missing “how” that Bernice implies in her irritating snark….

Why is the main character of this strip always portrayed as such a feckless twit?

Proof positive that the cards do nothing.

Peanuts? 42 is the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything per “The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy”

Eye/snail/donut. Couldn’t be more clear: Be on the lookout for a slow moving cop. ;-)

So the deck is only slightly more useful than the IChing

To find your true path go to Pee Wee’s Playhouse and ask Jambi. “Mecca lecca hi mecca hiney ho!”

She is already following her path. She has been working with kids for years. That is her path, but she doesn’t realize it yet.

Looks like Dez needs to eat more of those spiked brownies again.

The eyeball signifies someone’s looking at your heinie. The snail and donut tell you it’s because something gastropodish is crawling out of it.

I am having great fun with this week. Bernice engages here in the kind of verbal teasing employed by many women who know each other well. Usually, it is a more back and forth joking, but this works well for the comic.Has anyone else wondered if Dez makes up at least some card explanations as she goes, saying what she thinks the people need to hear without seeming responsible for her own words?

Things that are gooey on the inside. It will be a slow path until she can see the hole picture.

Puzz, 42 is a Douglas Adams reference.

Sorry about so many notes on one topic, but anyone who has missed out on those books really shoukd give them a try. (Especially true for good and funny individuals like Puzz.). Of course, after thinking about it, i think Puzz was joking with us!

I am still very fervently hoping that Bernie is next to get the “Destiny Deck” treatment. I want to see what is predicted for her. It could give us a bunch of fun things to speculate about.

Forget Destiny Decks. Finding one’s life path number is trivial in numerology! If Luann will just convert her birthdate or name to numbers (experts differ on this), and then add the digits until the result is a single digit, voilá, that is her life path number. Luann = 3+3+1+5+5+5=22=2+2=4. Bernice = 2+5+9+5+9+3+5=38=3+8=11=1+1=2. From Numerology Calculator dot org: The suspense is killing you, I know. Fours are seen as sensible, calm and practical. They are good at saving and managing money. These individuals are reliable, responsible and extremely dependable. Twos are good at providing comfort to others but inclined to take up fads. So Luann should be the CFO of a large business. Luckily, Bernice can stay with psychology, but probably gluten-free.Luann should also code her address and birth place just to be on the safe side. Who knew it was this simple?

Don’t. Feed. The. Animals.

NG, Bernie is also short for Bernadette, and short for Bernice, as it was for my “Aunt” Bernie who was actually a cousin of my grandfather, a nearby neighbor, and an employee in my parents’ store after their store was gone.

Snort! heh heh

Morley Safer passedhttp://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/05/19/478696449/morley-safer-longtime-60-minutes-correspondent-dies?utm_source=npr_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_content=20160519&utm_campaign=breakingnews&utm_term=nprnews

Ok, today even I can recognize Bern’s snark.

Just wait— Team Evans has a plot in mind involving either mascara or eyeglasses, escargot, and police officers on break.

So what’s the name of this new game? Somehow, “Cornhole of Destiny” just doesn’t sound right.

N-G49…. actually, I have known not just one, but TWO different women named Bernice who used the nickname “Bernie” so it is not just for Bernards.

I find the timer story interesting, Brd!

Active recurring character list, as far as I can determine, with date of last appearance with dialogue. I only went back as far as the beginning of September, as I don’t recall any of the recurring characters appearing between then and last May:.Luann (today)Bernice (today)Dez (today)Zèbo (this past Sunday, ditto Jock and Emo†)Quill (May 13) – but the clock is tickingFrank & Nancy (May 8)T.J. (May 7)Les Knox (May 7)“Uncle Al” Gray (May 6)Prudence (May 4)Ox (May 4)Tiffany (April 26)Brad (April 17)Shannon (April 17)Toni (March 27)Piro (March 26)Gunther (March 24)Hair (March 11)Crystal (February 28)Knute (February 21)Mrs. Berger (January 25)Fire Dept. Captain (January 14)Melodee Manezon (December 17)Viper (September 9).(†-It should be noted that Jock and Emo only appear in strips with Zèbo, which makes them recurring characters in the roles of supporting another recurring character.).Puddles was last seen on March 6, BTW.

While Delta is away studying and working on someone’s political campaign, let’s start our OWN “BBD” campaign:*BRING BACK DELTAWHEN DO WE WANT HER?NOW!!*BRING BACK DELTAWHEN DO WE WANT HER?NOW!!*Everybody join in. Maybe Team Evans will hear us.

Hey, Luann. While Dez and Bernice are debating over how useful the Destiny Deck is (or is not), here’s a shortcut you could use to figure out your life path. This is courtesy of Richard Leider, as published in Time Magazine.

Write this formula down: G + P + V + C

“G” stands for ‘gifts’. In other words, what are you good at? What comes easily to you?

“P” is ‘passion’. What things do you do that you care about a lot?

“V” means ‘values’. What is non-negotiable to you? Would it be a balanced life that leaves time for family and friends, or a job that involves a lot of traveling, or sticking close to familiar places, or what?

And C is basically ‘career’.

Good luck, Luann. I’m gonna try it, too. Maybe it’s not too late for me. I’m only 66…

I said this yesterday: Regarding Bernice, I See Bernice being playful, needling her friend. I dunno, maybe it’s a regional thing. Where I come from people bust on each other all the time. It’s a form of dry wit. You can really get crazy, like saying something absurd. NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY. I had one of my kids many years ago non stop banging a toy on the floor, over and over, and suddenly I bellowed out “Christopher Michael you are NEAR DEATH!” now at no point was I ever going to cause him any harm. His reaction was priceless. He stopped, looked at me momentarily and said, very sagely ’ Whoops!" And went to the couch and turned on cartoons. No way did he feel frightened, because he KNEW I was exaggerating. Because it was WAYYYYYY over the top.

The Destiny Deck? Better these three get out that ancient card game called “Old Maid”.

" SukieCrandall said, about 3 hours ago@Schrodinger’s Dog

I greatly like Delta as a character, but her return — if it happens — should flow naturally with the story."

OK. But I greatly dislike her character, and would prefer she not appear again.

Oops. Thanks!

Sorry that it grates, NG, but you are just going to have to deal w the reality that as surely as Bernie makes you think of Bernard (also not that long to say) there are those of us with female Bernies in our lives. And what’s wrong with that? There are also plenty of male and female Charlies, Bobbies, Sams, etc. Heck, my own first name, though usually used for females is also a male name in parts of the Caribbean. So what? Other than being a surprise the first time i learned that it has not mattered.

@1Soni

Peanuts? 42 is the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything per “The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy”

But long before the movie (or the book?) came out, it was said by Linus in answer to a question put forth by his sister, Lucy (who slugged him as soon as he gave it). GoComics ran that particular strip about 1-2 years ago.

I wonder if that’s where Douglas Adams got the idea.

If it helps for comparison, the original of Hitchhiker’s Guide dates from the late 70s, as a radio script.

It sounds like only one dear friend knows the “why” behind 42 and is not telling, if this is accurate:http://www.theguardian.com/books/2011/feb/03/douglas-adams-42-hitchhikerI did not think to ask my Steve if he knows, but he is sleeping now. If he does maybe i shoukd not say, but he might not know.There is also this, but i would have to ask Steve if the email given really was DA’s (if he remembers it so long afterward). Imposters are a very common problem for people who are famous or even perceived that way, so grains of salt are important.https://groups.google.com/forum/m/#!msg/alt.fan.douglas-adams/595nPukE-Jo/koaAJ3tPBtEJ

Hi, Chris! It feels different saying that than saying Brd.

SPOILER ALERT

Funny how a nonbeliever can switch so quickly to a believer when the cards seem to point in a direction she wanted to go, anyway…

You both have a good attitude!

It would be really great if you were both ‘Chris’…

LOL! Would have been funny if it had lasted…