Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for February 28, 2019

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    Davis D Danizier (3D)  over 5 years ago

    Moses and the Ten Commandments —

    Coulda gone with “thou shalt not rape”

    Coulda gone with “thou shalt not kidnap”

    Coulda gone with “thou shalt not exploit workers or customers in business”

    Coulda gone with “thou shalt not torture”

    Coulda gone with “thou shalt not be a dictator”

    .

    Instead, went with “Thou shalt not COVET” (clearly staking out his position in firm opposition to the whole foundation of capitalism)

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    feverjr Premium Member over 5 years ago

    Things haven’t changed much, if Moses came down from the mountain today, he’d find the “Chosen” worshiping the “Golden Calf” incarnate… tweeting his commandments

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    enigmamz  over 5 years ago

    I bet it was hard to find a charging port in the Sinai 3000 years ago (or however long ago it was).

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    Superfrog  over 5 years ago

    Take these tablets and text me in the morning.

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    Dtroutma  over 5 years ago

    Windows AND Mac OS?

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    Pointspread  over 5 years ago

    Why shouldn’t Moses have tablets? In the Garden of Eden they had an Apple…

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    Kymberleigh  over 5 years ago

    Wrong tablets, Mo.

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    sirbadger  over 5 years ago

    If we could get regular updates, it would be easier to run a government. What would Jesus set tax rates at?

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    Enter.Name.Here  over 5 years ago

    1. Thou shall not let thy battery run dead.

    2. Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s latest iPhone model.

    3. Thou shall not download questionable apps from uncertified sites.

    4. There is only one God …. Google.

    5. See law #5. Then do it again.

    6. Thou shall not steal………….. from the local Apple store as a flash mob.

    7. ( your turn)……

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    somebodyshort  over 5 years ago

    The current tablets aren’t any better

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    the lost wizard  over 5 years ago

    They were already obsolete by the time he got down the mountain.

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    sandpiper  over 5 years ago

    those boards have been continually erased and ‘revised’ by whomever was in charge since that day.

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    vaughnrl2003 Premium Member over 5 years ago

    Yeah, but we go through an iPad every couple of years, thus keeping Apple in business, but stone lasts for ages. Until it gets locked up in a gigantic Government warehouse somewhere in Kansas.

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    tripwire45  over 5 years ago

    Here we go again.

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    comicsrrd  over 5 years ago

    Don’cha hate it when you’re in the mountains and you have no service….

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    Masterskrain  over 5 years ago

    I can see it now… “Raiders of the Lost Genius Bar”

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    bbenoit  over 5 years ago

    Actually, I love it when I’m in the mountains and have no service!

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    David Seidensticker Premium Member over 5 years ago

    That’s one way to keep the masses compliant.

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    bbbmorrell  over 5 years ago

    yeah, no one would ever accept the notches

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    hangedman  over 5 years ago

    Looks like Moses was a time traveler. And a really tiny person.

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    1953Baby  over 5 years ago

    The New Yorker had a great cartoon of Moses in last week’s issue: Same stance, Moses holding the tablets, looking up at the heavens, and saying, “So. . .this is all about what YOU want?”

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    SunflowerGirl100  over 5 years ago

    The joke here is that Moses is holding up two blank tablets with nothing written on them. The bigger joke is that all the comments so far have used that image to preach little sermons. Also, it appears the real punchline is that he’s holding up two modern “tablets”, hence the joke about him being ahead of his time.

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    rugeirn  over 5 years ago
    The stone ones, Moses. You wanted the stone ones. The stone ones.
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    Nate England  over 5 years ago

    He didn’t smash ‘em. He dropped ‘em!

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    Linguist  over 5 years ago

    " These beautiful Tablets will be available, on sale at Issac’s EyeStore for only 99.95 shekels each."

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    sarah413 Premium Member over 5 years ago

    Starting over with a clean slate, or two. Maybe not a bad idea.

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    DCBakerEsq  over 5 years ago

    Thou shalt not covet the next generation of iPads.

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    Packratjohn Premium Member over 5 years ago

    I tried, honestly I did, to read all of the comments… Nowhere did I see anyone add that commandment about not owning humans as property… I’m certain he meant to include it, how could a loving god allow, or even endorse and set out the rules for, slavery? What? It’s okay to own people? To buy and sell them? Who’d’a thunk it?

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    Godfreydaniel  over 5 years ago

    Moses supposes we all have smart phoneses……..

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    Fan o’ Lio.  over 5 years ago

    Do unto others before they do unto you.

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    Richard S Russell Premium Member over 5 years ago

    Speaking of “getting ahead of things”, wouldn’t you expect that an omniscient being could’ve shared some kind of useful information that the people of that era didn’t already know, such as how to make soap?

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    theeuroguy  over 5 years ago

    Could have gone with “ have you considered moving to Venezuela “ no capitalism there

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    Fenshaw  over 5 years ago

    Bet he got hella few bars out there in the desert.

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    Lablubber   over 5 years ago

    Were the Lord’s commandments written in JavaScript or C++?

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    Concretionist  over 5 years ago

    That’s behind because you know, they’ve already been replaced by a later model.

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    r4tysatf39y Premium Member over 5 years ago

    But Eve had the FIRST apple!

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    RobinHood  over 5 years ago

    Jesus responded by saying the greatest commandment was “And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. This is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:30-31)

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    dgmiller  over 5 years ago

    Actually there were 15 Commandments, but Moses tripped on the way down the mountain and dropped the third tablet, which was shattered beyond repair.

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    The Pro from Dover  over 5 years ago
    we’re supposed to leave comments not manifestos
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    gsteele531  over 5 years ago

    Must have gotten the commandments from Mueller – they’re redacted.

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