Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for June 20, 2019

  1. Missing large
    kakaako.fixtures  over 5 years ago

    I hope this guy is a real estate lawyer or a loan officer.

     •  Reply
  2. Missing large
    Prescott_Philosopher   over 5 years ago

    He worked in an escrow office.

     •  Reply
  3. Badger 4 360
    sirbadger  over 5 years ago

    I’d sleep better with the paperwork.

     •  Reply
  4. Samvadi fb
    in.amongst  over 5 years ago

    just jump off!

     •  Reply
  5. Step 1
    mr_sherman Premium Member over 5 years ago

    “I forgot to tell you, it’s written in Esperanto.”

     •  Reply
  6. Out little avatar
    dadoctah  over 5 years ago

    Least popular holodeck program on Star Trek Deep Space Nine: “A day at the DMV with Dr Bashir”.

     •  Reply
  7. Psx 20180717 164642
    Watcher  over 5 years ago

    And of course the coin has 2 heads or 2 tails. No matter what your do, you lose.

     •  Reply
  8. Missing large
    DanFlak  over 5 years ago

    And for particularly bad sinners, Help Desk. People are pissed before they call you and you are not responsible for their issue.

     •  Reply
  9. Missing large
    uniquename  over 5 years ago

    Fine. I’ll start going to church again.

     •  Reply
  10. Img 20190428 152052 hdr kindlephoto 2072758
    SusieB  over 5 years ago

    I don’t like extreme heat or cold so it’s paperwork for me

     •  Reply
  11. E067 169 48
    Darsan54 Premium Member over 5 years ago

    or……..watch nothing but cable news.

     •  Reply
  12. Missing large
    david_42  over 5 years ago

    It’s easy: this one is a CYA for the agent, this is a CYA for the broker, this is a CYA … and this single sheet of paper transfers the legal title.

     •  Reply
  13. Picture
    MichaelHelwig  over 5 years ago

    Take the Freeze, quickly knock some holes in the wall to the Burn and Voila! a moderate climate…just don’t let in anyone from the fossil fuel industry.

     •  Reply
  14. Xfce
    Troy Premium Member over 5 years ago

    That’s an easy choice.

     •  Reply
  15. Missing large
    Lynnjav  over 5 years ago

    This is so close to what I said after dealing with my mom’s insurance paperwork for years! LOL

     •  Reply
  16. Missing large
    rlaker22j  over 5 years ago

    the old joke of time to go back standing on your heads coffee break’s over

     •  Reply
  17. Pete
    psampson  over 5 years ago

    Back in the 80’s I did real estate closings for about five years. If you haven’t worked on this stuff you have no idea boring anything can be. I realized I had reaching my breaking point at a closing that went on and on after five o’clock on a Friday while buyers and sellers argued over a pile of half-rotten fireplace wood worth maybe $20. Sellers wanted buyers to pay them $20 for the wood. Buyers wanted sellers to remove the wood from the property.

    Finally I found myself slamming the table with the palm of my hand. Looking the brokers in the eye, I said something like “It’s after 5 on a Friday and I want to go home. Who has $20 for the sellers and a truck to haul the wood away to save this deal?” After a few seconds of awkward silence the brokers rose to the occasion.

    Both buyers and sellers looked triumphant. The brokers didn’t speak to me again for a long, long time.

     •  Reply
  18. Egil skallagrimsson
    Kveldulf  over 5 years ago

    I used to live in Winnipeg. I once rode a motorcycle all the way around Australia during the southern summer. Neither of the first two choices holds any terrors for me.

     •  Reply
  19. 690904ef 1e7c 4d36 a98a f46b185ca15f
    DCBakerEsq  over 5 years ago

    How insulting. Attorneys were paid good money to write that drivel.

     •  Reply
  20. Th 2434264126
    Snoots  over 5 years ago

    Most people really don’t get it: True Hell starts long before death. It entails sitting in some random Church every Sunday morning listening to some brain-damaged preacher twist scripture to his own interpretation while hypnotizing you into transferring money from your pocket to his. And like the comic shows— you can attend the hell of your choice! :D

     •  Reply
  21. Jock
    Godfreydaniel  over 5 years ago

    Is the motto on the coin, “In Satan We Trust”?

     •  Reply
  22. Nick danger small
    Nick Danger  over 5 years ago

    Paperwork – now, if it had been “Fill out real estate paperwork”, then it gets more painful

     •  Reply
  23. Picture 7 banjogordy crp 100
    Banjo Gordy Premium Member over 5 years ago

    What about the choice of a room full of people learning to play banjos & bagpipes? By the way, Eddy Peabody was quite accomplished on both of these instruments!

     •  Reply
  24. Facepalm bear 2
    Lablubber   over 5 years ago

    Hot and cold running souls.

     •  Reply
  25. Missing large
    nikpromo  over 5 years ago

    I do not like temperature extremes, so I would take the paperwork; it is the best way to become a mindless zombie. Now as for the ones that created the paperwork……….

     •  Reply
  26. Penfold
    Bill Löhr Premium Member over 5 years ago

    Or read the terms and conditions from websites and determine what’s changed from the prior versions.

     •  Reply
  27. Avatar
    Rick Smith Premium Member over 5 years ago

    But I forgot to tell you: The cold and paperwork open into the same room.

     •  Reply
  28. Pupil
    Ka`ōnōhi`ula`okahōkūmiomio`ehiku Premium Member over 5 years ago

    Relax. Eternity isn’t as long as it used to be.

     •  Reply
  29. George jetson
    Bicycle Dude  over 5 years ago

    The only time I had more paperwork to read than real estate was entering and exiting the military.

     •  Reply
  30. Panda 2024
    Redd Panda  over 5 years ago

    A Laura Nyro song just came into my head. Can anyone guess which one? {Oh, could we add a 4th door? Standing in line at the DMV for hours, only to find you have the wrong paperwork, forever.}

     •  Reply
  31. Brain guy dancing hg clr
    Concretionist  over 5 years ago

    If you actually read The Inferno (translated, I presume) you find that the various sins are punished in various appropriate ways. And that “choice” isn’t a big part of the equation.

     •  Reply
  32. Img 3235
    dwane.scoty1  over 5 years ago

    He left a space for a 4th option: arrow pointing down to the Never ending Abyss !

     •  Reply
  33. The wanderer
    anomaly  over 5 years ago

    What the heck did he do to get punished for eternity?

     •  Reply
  34. Camera1 016
    keenanthelibrarian  over 5 years ago

    Ah, decisions, decisions …

     •  Reply
Sign in to comment

More From Non Sequitur