Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 25, 2014
April 24, 2014
April 26, 2014
Transcript:
Goat: Where's Pig today? Rat: His Church of Cheese is drawing a lot of criticism form people who say cheese is fattening and unhealthy and shouldn't be promoted. Goat: So, how's Pig handling that? Pig: Did thou blaspheme cheese?
Did Pig consider those who might be Lactose Intolerant? Years ago, I worked with a guy who forgot to ay “No Cheese, please!” when ordering a Burrito. Twenty minutes after lunch we had to have the Fire Department do a Haz-Mat evacuation. Some people just can’t handle their Cheddar!
Yesterday, phlash said:“They don’t worship in a brick church, but rather at a roquefort”It’s a new religion, so until they can afford to build, they’ll meet in a cottage.
The poor blasphemer (probably ordered a plain hamburger!) has been turned over to the Cheesy Inquisition. Now, put him to the Test! Let him eat American on rye, or be grilled on toast!
Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise…surprise and fear…fear and surprise…. Our two weapons are fear and surprise…and ruthless efficiency…. Our three weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency…and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope…. Our four…no… Amongst our weapons…. Amongst our weaponry…are such elements as fear, surprise…. I’ll come in again.
Oh, what a friend we have in cheeses!/ Cheddar, Camembert and Brie…, And so when we’re watchin’ telly/A large tray is good to see!//What a friend we have in cheeses,/All our tastes and smells with hair!/What a privilege to carry/A big plate of cheese and pear!
Didn’t take long for this religion to end up like all the others.“Religious readers may object that the harm in all these cases is done by perversions of religion, not by religion itself. But religious wars and persecutions have been at the center of religious life throughout history. What has changed, that these now seem to some people in some parts of the world to be only perversions of true religious belief? Has there been a new supernatural revelation, or a discovery of lost sacred writings that put religious teachings in a new light? No—since the Enlightenment there has been instead a spread of rationality and humanitarianism that has in turn affected religious belief, leading to a wider spread of religious toleration. It is not that religion has improved our moral sense but that a purely secular improvement in our moral values has improved the way religion is practiced here and there.” Steven Weinberg, Facing Up
Reminds me of the time my friends from camp did this exact thing. They created an entire religion based on cheese. They worshipped Cheesus Christ and Gouddah, the enlightened cheese wheel. It was strange.
cdgar over 10 years ago
Cute inquisition.
Sherlock Watson over 10 years ago
Somebody needs to Torquemada doing this!
Ida No over 10 years ago
Give him a dip in the fondue!
Phatts over 10 years ago
No one ever expects the Cheese Inquisition
drjinx over 10 years ago
I always knew Catholics were full of cheese! Hay, don’t give me crap, I used to be one, I escaped!!
bubjerryk over 10 years ago
Did Pig consider those who might be Lactose Intolerant? Years ago, I worked with a guy who forgot to ay “No Cheese, please!” when ordering a Burrito. Twenty minutes after lunch we had to have the Fire Department do a Haz-Mat evacuation. Some people just can’t handle their Cheddar!
CalLadyQED over 10 years ago
The story arch is stupid.
blunebottle over 10 years ago
His cheese is about to be creamed.
blunebottle over 10 years ago
Yesterday, phlash said:“They don’t worship in a brick church, but rather at a roquefort”It’s a new religion, so until they can afford to build, they’ll meet in a cottage.
AGED_ENGINEER Premium Member over 10 years ago
Will Snuffles come in to help with the cat-e-cheesm?
x_Tech over 10 years ago
Pig seems to be turning into some sort of Munster.
Marvin Kaplansky Premium Member over 10 years ago
Nobody expects the Swinish Inquisition
cdward over 10 years ago
This is all wrong! In the last panel it should be “Didst thou…” Not “Did thou…” Pig had better let me take over the inquisition.
Reppr Premium Member over 10 years ago
And change it to “indigestion”
Peg Premium Member over 10 years ago
I see Pig’s gone to the dark side. :-)
vwdualnomand over 10 years ago
some cheeses are good. but, not those horrible french cheeses that smell like feet.
Sisyphos over 10 years ago
The poor blasphemer (probably ordered a plain hamburger!) has been turned over to the Cheesy Inquisition. Now, put him to the Test! Let him eat American on rye, or be grilled on toast!
Kaputnik over 10 years ago
Bring…the comfy cheddar!
Doctor Go over 10 years ago
I wasn’t expecting a sort of Spanish Inquisition…
Bargrove over 10 years ago
Well, I waited for this one with baited breath.
chris_o42 over 10 years ago
Guard Duck will be perfect as an Inquisitor!
Egrayjames over 10 years ago
Ximinez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise…surprise and fear…fear and surprise…. Our two weapons are fear and surprise…and ruthless efficiency…. Our three weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency…and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope…. Our four…no… Amongst our weapons…. Amongst our weaponry…are such elements as fear, surprise…. I’ll come in again.
posstockhoarder over 10 years ago
Bring out the…..COMFY CHAIR!
MrsSnape over 10 years ago
I’m loving this story line! It’s doing a great job of showing how ridiculous the whole concept of religion is.
Vet Premium Member over 10 years ago
Worse than blaspheme……he cut the cheese…….
Digital Frog over 10 years ago
So, is Pig a Stinking Bishop?
dansswing over 10 years ago
Pig is probably the type who would use…the comfy chair!
Bargrove over 10 years ago
It’s all floating down the river Rhine.
BenSavoca over 10 years ago
Come on, Pastis. You totally passed up an opportunity to call it the inQUESOtion.
Sidneypop over 10 years ago
Cheesus!
phlash over 10 years ago
“Who am I to diss a brie”
John W. Vinson Premium Member over 10 years ago
And of course the best cheese is produced at a small dairy in the Palestinian West Bank: Cheeses of Nazareth.
kzturtlegirl over 10 years ago
Nobody expects the Spanish Quesailla!
Lamberger over 10 years ago
Oh, what a friend we have in cheeses!/ Cheddar, Camembert and Brie…, And so when we’re watchin’ telly/A large tray is good to see!//What a friend we have in cheeses,/All our tastes and smells with hair!/What a privilege to carry/A big plate of cheese and pear!
Number Three over 10 years ago
I don’t normally eat cheese but when I do it’s either Dairylea which you spread or cheddar.
xxx
Petemejia77 over 10 years ago
the" In-quesso-ision!"
hariseldon59 over 10 years ago
This is like a cross between the Monty Python cheese sketch and the Spanish Inquisition sketch.
mdrew01 over 10 years ago
So, if the blasphemer dies, and it’s the church of cheese, will he be give the Last Ritz?
jameszee over 10 years ago
Do a pun thing on “Cheeses of Nazerith.” ???
Jameszee
catwally over 10 years ago
Could future strips in this series please say “cheesequisition” on Pig’s lectern/podium/box ?
Selena Terrazas Premium Member over 10 years ago
Shouldn’t the next to last line be
Long as I have my magnetic dairy ?
MsMistoffeles14 over 10 years ago
Almost as funny as Monty Python’s version… “NO-body expects the Sp—Oh BLEEP!”
claire de la lune. over 10 years ago
Yay! This became a series.
markjoseph125 over 10 years ago
Didn’t take long for this religion to end up like all the others.“Religious readers may object that the harm in all these cases is done by perversions of religion, not by religion itself. But religious wars and persecutions have been at the center of religious life throughout history. What has changed, that these now seem to some people in some parts of the world to be only perversions of true religious belief? Has there been a new supernatural revelation, or a discovery of lost sacred writings that put religious teachings in a new light? No—since the Enlightenment there has been instead a spread of rationality and humanitarianism that has in turn affected religious belief, leading to a wider spread of religious toleration. It is not that religion has improved our moral sense but that a purely secular improvement in our moral values has improved the way religion is practiced here and there.” Steven Weinberg, Facing Up
Sheila Hardie over 10 years ago
Waiting for the “I pray to cheesus” gag.
grampianlothian over 10 years ago
The pun-ters are in good form at the moment.
learninglair1 almost 7 years ago
nobody expects the stilton inquisition!
Darth Revan II about 4 years ago
NEVER BLASPHEME THE CHEESE OR FACE THE WRATH OF THE SITH EMPIRE!
I like guard duck about 3 years ago
This story arch is the best
leopardglily almost 2 years ago
Reminds me of the time my friends from camp did this exact thing. They created an entire religion based on cheese. They worshipped Cheesus Christ and Gouddah, the enlightened cheese wheel. It was strange.
alantain over 1 year ago
I didn’t expect the Cheese Inquisition!