Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 29, 2016
July 28, 2016
July 30, 2016
Transcript:
Rat: I want enough money to do whatever I want.
Goat: Money can't buy happiness.
Rat: True. But it can sure rent thrills.
Goat: Thrilled yet?
Rat: For fifty bucks. This can all be yours.
Well Rat has the right idea anyway. If you have a lot of money, then spend it on something useful. It won’t buy happiness, but it can certainly give you a few thrills in life if you spend it wisely. Hoard it all, and you miss a lot.
Just too beers and a martini, and down you go? Rat! I am ashamed of you! Guess you tiny tummy can’t handle the big boy’s stuff, ehh? Neither can your tiny brain handle big boy’s philosophizing….
“I know everybody saysMoney can’t buy happinessBut it could buy me a boat, it could buy me a truck to pull itIt could buy me a Yeti 110 iced down with some silver bullets”
Yah, you tell me money can’t buy happiness, but honest, level with me here — have you really tried hard enough?Tell you what, let’s try it again with another 120 million, whadya say? Then double-down until we get it! Who’s got the cheques?
BE THIS GUY over 8 years ago
Goat, if Rat starts choking on his own vomit, don’t help him.
Sherlock Watson over 8 years ago
“If money can’t buy happiness, I guess I’ll have to rent it.” (Weird Al Yankovic, “This Is the Life”)
Wilde Bill over 8 years ago
It’s been said that you only rent beer.
cdgar over 8 years ago
I’m renting all the happiness I can handle thanks to the SS checks that come every month like clockwork.
bigcatbusiness over 8 years ago
Well Rat has the right idea anyway. If you have a lot of money, then spend it on something useful. It won’t buy happiness, but it can certainly give you a few thrills in life if you spend it wisely. Hoard it all, and you miss a lot.
Bilan over 8 years ago
Remember when comics used to be for children?
alviebird over 8 years ago
Money can buy guitars, and that’s sort of the same thing.
juicebruce over 8 years ago
Happiness is an inside job…………must make sure to bring the correct tools !
Kaputnik over 8 years ago
Or as Rodney Dangerfield said, it lets you choose your own type of misery.
Adiraiju over 8 years ago
Or, as Berke Breathed put it, “Money can’t buy love, but it sure improves your bargaining position.”
sarah413 Premium Member over 8 years ago
I had a friend who was a bartender and he’d always say that you never buy a drink, you only rent it.
Willywise52 Premium Member over 8 years ago
I do remember Bilan,and I like adult comics much better now.
whiteheron over 8 years ago
I’ll drink that!
legaleagle48 over 8 years ago
Mrs. Howell had a good answer for that, too: “Anyone who says that money can’t buy happiness just doesn’t know where to shop!”
tahoeh2o over 8 years ago
“Buy a Jet-Ski. Have you ever seen an unhappy person on a Jet-Ski?”…
wagnertinatlanta over 8 years ago
Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it enables you to be miserable in much better surroundings.
Chad Cheetah over 8 years ago
Rat’s motto:
Guilty Bystander over 8 years ago
I’ve had a motto for years: “Money can’t buy happiness…it can only make the down payment”
McGehee over 8 years ago
If you think money can’t buy happiness, you don’t have enough money.
t jacobs over 8 years ago
try looking on blueberry hill
angelfiredragon over 8 years ago
I disagree it can buy happiness, now if someone will just fund a 5 year test for me, with unlimited funs I’ll give you the results when done.
Reality is there is things far more important than money but hey it isn’t like I’m going to find a sponsor anyways.
tiomax over 8 years ago
Like my Aunt once told me…“They say money can’t buy happiness but I’d sure like to give it a try!”
IQTech61 over 8 years ago
http://www.businessinsider.com/study-shows-money-can-buy-happiness-2015-1
Number Three over 8 years ago
Money can’t buy you happiness, health and love.
What can it buy then?
I don’t know who on earth came up with these sayings.
xxx
Reppr Premium Member over 8 years ago
What happened to the ISIS cartoon?
GuntherGrass over 8 years ago
Rat needs a new source of income. This would be a great job for him. Looks like Snopes.com needs some good help.
http://100percentfedup.com/busted-main-political-fact-checker-for-snopes-is-finally-exposed-as-liberal-hack/
Sisyphos over 8 years ago
Just too beers and a martini, and down you go? Rat! I am ashamed of you! Guess you tiny tummy can’t handle the big boy’s stuff, ehh? Neither can your tiny brain handle big boy’s philosophizing….
Phatts over 8 years ago
“I know everybody saysMoney can’t buy happinessBut it could buy me a boat, it could buy me a truck to pull itIt could buy me a Yeti 110 iced down with some silver bullets”
Phatts over 8 years ago
Yah, you tell me money can’t buy happiness, but honest, level with me here — have you really tried hard enough?Tell you what, let’s try it again with another 120 million, whadya say? Then double-down until we get it! Who’s got the cheques?
TheWildSow over 8 years ago
…♪♫…Open your door, I’ll be your tenantDon’t got much baggage, to lay at your feetBut sweet kisses, I’ve got to spareI’ll be there and I’ll cover you
I think they meant itWhen they said you can’t buy loveNow I know you can rent itA new lease you are my loveOn life, be my life..♪♫…
HowieL over 8 years ago
Shoemaker to son: “Someday, son, this awl will be yours.”
glowing-steak32 over 8 years ago
Money can’t buy happiness…but food makes me happy. Therefore, money can buy happiness.
alantain about 1 year ago
I’ve never understood what is so thrilling about drinking yourself horizontal. Even if you had an epic good time, you won’t remember!