Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 07, 2018

Hey, I’m that goofy uncle!

Preparing for Uncle Stephan’s arrival

Well, I became an uncle on Thanksgiving Day; I haven’t even met my nephew yet. So I can’t get in the box yet… unless I do something goofy with my stepsisters’ kids rather than my brother’s son.

We need those for politicians.

Uncle Sam, perhaps?

Rat for Smash.

Note to Pig: with a quick flip of the flaps, the box can become the Goofy Rat Box.

As long as Rat’s in the box, why don’t we close it for the holidays!

“Crap!” He said “Crap!” Where’s the comics censor when we need him?

Goat’s cup handle is… oh, wait, outdoors strip, never mind.

I’ll bet Rat’s uncle is one mean ol’ vermin.

Ah, some of the intolerant millennials today. They want everyone they don’t like and those who don’t agree with them to be chained and put into a box!

Sounds almost kinky.

But I really like my goofy uncle, Rat.

Well it’s uncle’s money so he can be as goofy as he wants :-)

Chain, duct tape and goofy uncle not included.

some families prefer to box all of their issues up for the holidays…

I can’t use that. Mom was an only child, Dad was an only child, so I have never had an actual uncle.

Hey! I resemble that remark!

Like “pull my finger”?

Have one for the daffy wife and the drunken husband?

It’s like potato chips,no one can have “just” one…10 boxes please!

I’m the Crazy Uncle. Can I have a box, too?

I’ve got some relatives that would consider me goofy. But, it’s a fair deal. If they’d just put a plate of Turkey with the fixings in that box, I’d prefer spending time sitting in it rather than having to listen to them.

The box is free when you buy the duct tape and chain set.

Our local DJ coined a term yesterday: Drunkle

Has anyone EVER seen Goofy’s uncle?

My hubs is a goofy uncle and all (there are a lot of them) the nieces, nephews, grand nephs and nieces simply adore him.

Won’t work. My cat will jump in the box and there won’t be room for the goofy uncle.

Oh crap…I just realized that with no living Uncles or Aunts, and my 2 older brothers both having children, I’M the “GOOFY UNCLE”…

I always liked the box better than the toy!

Yes, but is the sealed-in uncle alive or dead?

It would come in handy around Thanksgiving dinner!

Well, at least it’s not a goofy grandpa box.

Chain and duct tape come with the box. The locks for the chains are extra. Handcuffs are only in the deluxe package with the 50 Shades of Grey tie-in decor.

Huh?

Postage to Timbuktu not included.

Quick, Goat and Pig! Shut, seal, and deliver!

Bye bye, Rat! (Sucker!)

Is it ironic that Rat himself went right into the Goofy Uncle Box? Does he have nieces/nephews we don’t know about?

Rat is in the box, apply chains and tape, Pig.