Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 22, 2019

Damn Red Sox fan!

Go Yankees or Mets.

How would he know the cost? He hasn’t even been inside yet!

You got what you asked for, Rat. Now you are still stuck with that surly ceiling rafter looming over you.

Since we’re all kind of talking baseball, Seattle Mariners’ Ichiro Suzuki is retiring from the sport. (I wonder how far is it from home plate to the left field wall at Safeco Field.)

I have to say…that was funny.

Figures are at least 2-dimensional.

So his answer should have been 90′ × 90′.

The contractor is not a hit.

Should have kept him Rat. At least he knows something.

Red Soc is soooooo Big Nate

Go back to the office and tell them that you struck out.

Oakland Coliseum is available. The Raiders don’t want it. The A’s don’t want it.

At least he told the truth. That’s rare these days.

can’t love this enough! This is what I want from Pearls!

How about Babe Ruth ! …… Croc Power !

The contractor was out in left field….

Swing and a miss – you’re out!

The contractor really dropped the ball on that one. He screwed up big league, and Rat was right to call foul.

He seemed pretty knowledgeable to me.

Good call, Rat. Time to go with your reliever.

the contractor doesn’t have a mouth!!!

I see Pastis is running a special on bargain plays-on-words this week.

Love this

An honest answer might be “Anywhere between $1000 and $100,000”.

That contractors name’s Alec Smart, right?

I would’ve fired him, too. The numbers on his bill will be as farfetched, probably.

Worst hard hat drawing ever.

That contractor was out of their league,and out of bounds!

4432 – # of times gloves are adjusted in the average MLB game

You can tell he’s a contractor because he said “I’m” and “it’s”.

Smart decision

$575. Plus materials. And, there will be change orders.

(SIGH!) well you did ask for a ball park figure Rat,too bad it wasn’t a statue of Pete Rose

Well, I noticed Rat didn’t try to hit him in the head with a ball bat…

dang literalist…

Rat’s a Yankees fan? And all this time I liked him.

He was going to say " She’s 34- 22-34 in a Mets jersey eating a hotdog and an Orange Jukius " but MeToo objected!

Puns Before Swine… more please

Hopefully the firing was done with a flame thrower. There are good contractors but the bad ones are REALLY bad.

It’s 355 ft from home plate to the left field wall at Wrigley Field.

It doesn’t always pay to be a whiz at baseball statistics!

Oh, those pesky contractors…

Why, Rat, why? Didn’t you like the ballpark figure he gave you? Maybe you’re one of those DamnYankee fans?

And besides, he has no mouth (and he must scream)…