Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 24, 2020

Turn off the TV.

All we can hope for is a better tomorrow

Pig’s endless optimism is infectious.

if not tomorrow, then the day after tomorrow followed by the day after that, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera

I’m lucky. I find few days that are sort of awesome. But it does make it hard to have a better day tomorrow.

Optimism just sets you up for disappointment.

Pig’s a cockeyed optimist.

Tomorrow is another day… and I don’t give a d@mn.

Stop watching the news!

It certainly seems like the Zombie Apocalypse is upon us. “The speed at which I was falling has rapidly slowed! Yippee! So now I can take off this damned parachute!” “Jesus is MY vaccine!” “Braaains…”

We only have hope and optimism, I hope we have a great existence of both to get through this stage.

Tomorrow never dies.

The sun’ll come out tomorrow, So you gotta hang on ‘til tomorrow, come what may! Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow You’re always a day away…

Whistling a happy tune can only take one so far.

Two Russian women were standing in line to buy bread during the Khrushchev era. One asks the other, “And how are you today?” The other responds, “Normal. Worse than yesterday, but not as bad as tomorrow.”

Next century will be better!

Next century will be better!

Every day you survive gives one more chance for a better tomorrow….

Each day will be about the same. Each day will be about the same.

Stiff Upper Lip Time ! … Croc Power !

you really need to stop watching the news, Pig.

With all the pork processing plant shut downs, Pig is right.

He’s paranoid …..and it’s catchy

Geez. I’m a cynic. And a caustic one, at times. But I’ve not yet felt the urge to throw myself under a bus or drink from a flask of poison. My gf and I went on a cruise in late February (no illness resulted – had the time of our lives) and became engaged in mid-March (in a nearly empty restaurant). Probably getting married in October. Has it been a year of challenges? Sure. Has it been a good year anyway? Yep!

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. It could also be your last. So live it up. Go for a walk in the park. Smile at someone.

Nope. November 4 is gonna be no more Trump Day.. He’s worse than the pandemic for America.

Never give up! Never surrender!

At this point, I am thinking next year will be better…..maybe

Pig’s optimism is flexible. I find that optimism works best that way. Try it.

Americans are the most aggressively propagandized people on the planet. Caitlin Johnston

Each day brings Eternal Hope

today I am fine, tomorrow who knows

Don’t… Stop… Thinking about tomorrow… Don’t… Stop… It’ll soon be here…

Snipped MelBrooks’ theme song lyrics for “12 chairs”. meh flick’s classic song..

Hope for the best, expect the worstSome drink champagne, some die of thirstNo way of knowing which way it’s goingHope for the best, expect the worst!

Hope for the best, expect the worstThe world’s a stage, we’re unrehearsedSome reach the top, friends, while others drop, friendsHope for the best, expect the worst!

I knew a man who saved a fortune that was splendidThen he died the day he’d planned to go and spend itShouting “Live while you’re alive! No one will survive!”Life is sorrow—here today and gone tomorrow

Live while you’re alive, no one will survive—there’s no guarantee

Hope for the best; expect the worstYou could be Tolstoy or Fannie HurstYou take your chances; there are no answersHope for the best expect the worst!

I knew a man who saved a fortune that was splendidThen he died the day he’d planned to go and spend it,Shouting “Live while you’re alive! No one will survive!”Life is funny—Spend your money! Spend your money!

Live while you’re alive, no one will survive—there’s no guarantee

Hope for the best; expect the worst.The rich are blessed; the poor are cursedThat is a fact, friends, the deck is stacked, friendsHope for the best, expect the…

(Even with a good beginning, it’s not certain that you’re winning.Even with the best of chances, they can kick you in the pantses)

I love you, Tomorrow! You’re always a day away.

Pig is watching someone important say to inject disinfectants into your lungs to kill Covid.

Get back in your happy box!

Nope.

My Dad always said any day he could get out of bed under his own power and take nourishment, was a good day! He grew up during the Depression, and served in the Army during WWII, in the Pacific. Three combat landings under Macarthur. So I’ll go with Dad.

Inject some disinfectant, Pig, and eat some detergent pods. I know a Cheetohead who says that’s GOOD for you.

Where’s the happy box?

Nothing funnier than the evening news.

I’ve flagged both spammers. Please allow “featured comments” to occur naturally.

Tomorrow is another day.

Why do they do this?

‘Still can’t figure out how he flips his ears.

Is it just me?

Nope. Sorry, Pig. Dream on….

Now I want to know what he saw on the TV…