Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 20, 2020

At least the hiker didn’t gain any weight.

This is giving me some recipe ideas. Breasts of chicken, stuffed with dark meat? I will have to try that.

He tried to sue himself but he didn’t have a leg to stand on.

Btw: don’t cut parts of yourself off to eat if you’re ever stranded. It might seem like a good idea (nutrition, less cells to feed), but the shock to your body will take more energy than you’ll gain. Also, don’t drink urine or seawater if you’re stuck without drinking water: it will only make you thirstier.

You are what you eat.

Pig’s next book:

The unofficial biography of “Rat – Full of Himself”

Remember the one about the traveler who saw a pig with a peg-leg? He stopped to ask the farmer how that happened.

“Waaall, that pig’s somethin’ special. When he was just young, he chased down my youngest and kept him from drowning in the crick. Then when I got trapped under the hay pile when it slid, he ran and got m’ wife to get me out. An’ that’s not all, no-sir. Just a last year he followed me out into the woods and sniffed out a $600 truffle. Quite some pig!”

“Wow. That is some pig. But how’d he come to have a peg leg?”

“Well, a pig that valuable, you don’t eat him all at once!”

Reminds me of my favorite “Other Space” episode, where the “AT&T Girl” eats her shipmate’s leg….

https://finance.yahoo.com/video/episode-5-troubles-brewing-070100427.html

The pig’s smudge marks are back.

Fresh bottle o’ Ink!

Yeah, just yesterday he had too much marjoram on his hands.

The hiker was known as Stubby from then on!

Pig might have watched the same documentary about the Donner Party that I did a few nights ago. on NetFlix though I saw it on PBS way back in the ’90s. The historical author, David McCullough narrated it.

Sounds like an Orson Scott Card short story.

He’s a living leg end.

Pig is he still a hiker with only one leg ? … Croc Power !

So - he came prepared -- in a way.

Read Stephen King’s “Survivor Type.” “ “lady fingers they taste just like lady fingers”

I love more than I should that Pig always has that splotch of ink on his head when he writes.

Better to eat an arm then. Tough to walk out on 1 leg.

That’s painful.

I guess that makes him ham-handed.

Sounds like he was down to his last leg.

Dear lord! Pig needs help…..someone? Can somebody help PIG?

Soundtrack for this strip: Gino Vannelli: “Living Inside Myself.”

That sounds as gruesome as that one scene from the first Saw movie

He’ll grow many more inches,but won’t grow another foot ;)

Pig obviously uses a fountain pen.

Earlier, he was probably thinking “I’d give my right leg for a good meal…”

Stephen King’s short story, Survivor Type.

Reminds me of a chapter in “Candide”, but I can’t remember exactly.

Does that make him a cannibal or not?

He must be a big fan of “Alive.”

That would be truly impressive. I’m familiar with the story of the guy who got himself pinned between rocks while hiking in the desert southwest and cut his own arm off in order to extricate himself. But this would be taking survival to a whole new level.

That actually made my scalp crawl.

The hiker probably hated the trail mix that he brought along.

I didn’t know Pig was a Cannibal Corpse fan!!

Look at your housemate, Pig, and use what little brain power you have. Rat is extremely full of himself.

Wouldn’t it be more logical if he ate his arm? That way he could still walk.

What a hack job!

I would think ‘Full of Himself’ would be a biography of Rat. In that case, Pig better use a pseudonym.

It’s “long pig,” Pig. Consider it a cautionary tale….

Not a particularly bad title

I think Stephen King wrote a short story using this premise. I think it’s called ‘Survivor Type’ and is in one of his short story collections. “Skeleton Crew” I think. I know I should look it up, but I’m too busy reading comics.

“Lady fingers. They taste just like lady fingers.”

Mabye that’s how Bear Grills does it