Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 30, 2024

And now you’re going to hear “Sixteen Tons” while we keep you on hold for an hour.

… that is what some rude caller named Pastis told us when we asked when we could expect a deposit to your account.

If you have vacation time saved up, you can stop working a month before you die.

I’ve long said: “Freedom 85!”

True of too many Americans who haven’t saved adequately for retirement.

You might end up working at 7-11 posthumously, Pig, not something to look forward to!

So, just hand over all that social security money you won’t be needing…

Not that rare a misconception. A lot of people think they can work till they die, not realizing that would take a lot more luck than just being able to save a few measly dollars.

This very thing happened just after Joe Biden took office : (

But never downdated.

But to make it perfectly clear, Pig….“We invested an additional $12 billion into community banks, because we know community banks are in the community, and understand the needs and desires of that community as well as the talent and capacity of community,”

Always be considerate! Give your employer two weeks’ notice before you die. Also, the custodial staff would appreciate that you don’t die on the job.

So, cmerb wants a dottering senile alzeimer-challenged nasty orange in the office?

what? you mean i dont have to save?

All I need is for Hugo Pinero to let me know when I’ll die, and I’ll retire a year before that.

It’s never too late to start saving, put away a little nest egg and watch it grow.