That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for February 28, 2022

“You sure this one is ours? I thought we only had 6 kids.”

/// Mama birthed eight girls, ere she was done.

There are nine females to Papa’s one.

In A Family Group

Papa tries to recoup.

“I choose this one to dress as a son.”

/// Young Vittoria was his first choice.

Of the eight, she possessed a deep voice.

She was loud, rough and nervy,

and not yet very curvy.

“You’ll inherit it all— so rejoice!”

“This is the good daughter. She’s not going to be very useful in this family.”

The Mancinis resorted to making post cards in their desperation to raise dowry money.

Dad: “It’s not me. Alana also ate the chili”

“Wotsa matta this family ? Little Filomena gets a A in trigonometry..ALL the rest of you fail ? She wins the red dress.”

As the ancients agree, “Thouest that smellith it doth surely hast dealtith it!”

It’s tough to sing “O Sole Mio”/

Even tougher to sing it “con brio”/

In a roomful of women/

Who in “shvitz” all,are shvimmin’/

and suffering badly from B.O…

/// She had started a family dispute

when she took from their one bowl of fruit

an apple (to taste it),

then quickly replaced it

with a juicier red substitute.

Are you sure we can’t dress this one up as a boy? I’m the only guy in the group without a son.

“Give it a rest, dad. I’m NOT pulling your finger again.”

don’ look at me – it was her stole da las’ moon pie…

“Why is this my only daughter that doesn’t look “twice beaten with an ugly stick” ?

“Look what I found hiding in the closet. When were you going to tell me about her?”

So much finger-pointing going on, no one notices the photo-bombing neighbor girl in the right corner.

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again….and again and again…..(for a boy)

The girl in green is angrily calculating what fraction of a legacy she’lj inherit now.

Why are they all hanging around Nureyev’s tomb?

♫ I’m Hen-er-y with eight, I am. Hen-er-y with eight I am, I am. I got married to the widow next door. She had seven kids and then one more. ♫ (With apologies to Peter Noone and the Herman’s Hermits.)

Yes, I realize it is the 1500s, but this daughter, this one right here, I am teaching to read. God knows I need someone ith whom to talk about literature.

Meeting of an “un-focus group”.

Thank goodness the King just outlawed dowries.

Yeah , I know how to draw fingers now

8 daughters.

Dad: “There’s a ladder in the shed, and the windows aren’t locked.”

The answer to “Who cut the Gorgonzola?”

I know the new gender pronouns are supposed to make things better, but which one do I use for this one?

DAD: OK. One of us has to skip dinner so they’ll be enough and you all have to decide who. Don’t let me influence your decision point point point

So Edith, are you saying you don’t want any more children?

“Nabokov likes this one”

Some of the paintings are amazing, the artist took days to create this. Now I can create something just as weird with a single push of a button.

“Don’t laugh, this one’s my next wife.”

One wedding and 7 new nuns.

A Family Group: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Bernardino_Licinio_(c._1489-1565)_-_A_Family_Group_-_RCIN_402586_-_Royal_Collection.jpg 

has info and links that point to more info about this large painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image at 

https://thatispricelessblog.com/2022/02/masterpiece-2886 

and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. First work by this artist used here.

Griselda stares out at us through the centuries with adolescent angst – she can’t believe she’s stuck in a family with a Dad who wears two pinky rings, and has such awful taste in tablecloths…

(you need to see the painting in detail here to see the pinky rings:)https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/79/Bernardino_Licinio_%28c.1489-1565%29_-A_Family_Group_-RCIN_402586-RoyalCollection.jpg

You promised me this one would be a boy but I’ve got four more girls since!

When do we eat??????? :)

This girl is just skin and bones. you have to start feeding her like the rest of the family…

Jusepi was mad, four wives and only 4 kids, they got to do better than that.

With the red dress she’s marked as jailbait//tonight she’ll go out on a “date”//if she brings home some lire//she will be hailed a hero//Let the girl have the fruit on the plate!

No way! I only had a salad.

Eight times ( it appears) Papa scored/

By “his” kiddies, the man is adored/

And if Pop only knew/

Why Mama’s pleased, too/

He would disown three fourths of the horde..

Okay … that’s one. Is anybody else identifying as a male today?

She grabbed the apple first! So she gets to play snow white in the next play. Who wants to play the wicked step-mother?

that our savings diminished and bled.

Yet the Queen’s second son

likes ‘em young for his fun,

so which one of you goes to his bed?”

/// Shouts of “Not me!” and much finger pointing.

As “child bride” someone else needs anointing.

Will the scarlet-garbed daughter

be the lamb to the slaughter?

Someone older he’d find disappointing.