That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for August 28, 2023

As the Monologue continued, some of the audience members were inspired to invent the television.

/// Is “The Monologue” only a talk?

It amuses the crowd that he’ll mock

them, but he’s here to stalk

the girl in the black frock.

She is Belle, belle of la Belle Époque.

Look at all the young women in the front row – he was the Elvis of his time!

“The next act, ladies and gentlemen, is called ‘keys in a bowl.’”

“…with a capitol T and that rhymes with P and that stands for pool!”

I forget are we now in the Second Empire, or the Third Republic?

And how can you tell the difference?

To understand Steve’s caption today you must be aware that it is the punchline to the infamous filthy joke referred to as “The Aristocrats.” There was a documentary a few years ago which included several comedians (Gilbert Gottfried was one) telling their versions of the story. Be warned that if you have delicate sensibilities, this joke will offend you.

And a one and a two and a …..

What am I bid for these family jewels of the Count De Money.

Oh! My! God!

“Messieurs et Mesdames, Mr. Carl Perkins will now sing “Boppin’ the Blues” !

In this pic, the assembled nobility/

Exude an effete fragility/

Which strongly suggests/

That the forthcoming tests /

Will exceed their survival ability.

They are known as “The Second Estate”./

They’re the the folks that the “folk” love to hate/

They have numerous faults/

But they’re good at the Waltz -/

They’re Aristocrats- make no mistake-/

And they think they deserve a break/

And the law should be lax/

If they don’t pay the tax/

(They’re aristocrats, for Heaven’s sake!)///

You don’t see much of them any more/

Because these people know the score/

They’re in Switzerland now/

For they just knew somehow/

It’s a nice place to wait out a war.///

“Ok now….. the song is putting on the ritz. Not grandma got run over by a reindeer. “

Punch line to the dirtiest joke ever.

“Now you ladies here, as soon as the men behind you sing “gently down the stream” you start singing “row, row, row your boat” and then this section over here will start ………

this is the punch line to the dirtiest joke ever told. They even made a movie about it.

This season of “The Bachelor” will blow your mind. 25 women And 25 men. Imagine what the Fantasy Suite will be!

Your are all getting sleepy, very very sleepy. And warm, very very warm……..

If you know, you know.

Before I give my best man’s toast, I have to tell you this bit of information, the groom and I are actually broke hillbillies from Arkansas, and this has all been part of a reality show. Now, let’s get this shindig going

“Enough with the intro. Let the man start reading the deceased’s will.”

The Man…. I call this game “The Bachelorette.”

“And I will prove beyond a shadow of doubt the murderer is.. "

He was suave, he was debonair, he was knowledgeable and well-spoken- and he was American, which meant this crowd wasn’t giving him the time of day.

Garrison Keillor before radio was invented, regaled the genteel folks of Minnisota with tales of Lake Wobegon.

“And, if you recruit others to sell the products for you, you’ll make commissions on those sales, too.”

“Now on the count of 3, you get up and walk around the chairs. Then we’ll remove one….”

The Monologue: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Paintings by Jean Béraud" Wikimedia 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, DuckDuckGo, Ecosia and Yandex search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found and once there find the text string Monologue, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3177 (August 27, 2023) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger, if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there pointing to the blog entry with my comment pointing to info about this artist I used to point to here. So far, 12 works by him have been used here (18 times total, including 6 repeats), the February 7, 2019, strip being the prior non-repeat.

Men, when the music stops, sit on the first lady you come to.

Auditions for the Tabernacle Choir was going quite well until someone hit a sour note.

“For the 10:00 p.m. show, they all perform their act topless, even the men.”

This morning I woke up with an elephant in my pajamas……how he got there I don’tknow?