The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for January 26, 2025

All is white in their world.

“Well All Whitey then!”

WHAT!!???? No …… “eggshell” white??!!!

/BUMMER\

You’re both quite White with your comments.

Is she going to put up black curtains in there?

I would have picked the Walter White.

OK Northerners….YOU got me, last night we had a frost that broke my 3/4" irrigation line and my water pump ran all day until I went out and lit the charcoal at 5 pm. THEN I saw water spraying everywhere. Hopefully it didn’t ruin the timers. OK…IT’S COLD UP THERE!

Punny

He just told a little WHITE lie. And Snow White is my girl friend. me too.

Throwaway panel: The last time someone asked me what I was up to, I said “About 5 foot 9, but I think I’m shrinking”.

I’d like the Procol Harum “A whiter shade of pale”

White you are!

Does it really matter? The foods going to be the same.

it all starts with the kitchen then moves to the whole house

Would using ‘Poltergeist White’ make the house haunted?

Let’s listen to the White album while we discuss it

it’s up to hue, Gladys…

You’re sharp today Brutus !

You’re feelin’ all white…. I’m not feelin’ too good myself…..

Ha! There’s always Eggshell, Gladys!

It’s true….how many shades of a color can one easily pick?

It’s enough to drive you up the wall……

Dorian Gray!

Whichever one he picks, she’ll go with another one.

Well, somebody has to say it……..“GROAN”.

I’m sure it will stain all the same. :D

nicely played

Oh Brutus you really have a way with words……

Great pun and my wife and I went through this exact same thing but for our entire house. Ugh. I assure you, Brutus, that leaving it up to her is the best decision a husband can make! I never knew there were so many different shades of white either although I have to admit that poltergeist, Ahab’s Whale, surrender flag, and shade of pale weren’t on our paint chips. True story: John Lennon loved Whiter Shade of Pale so much he listened to it repeatedly on a record player in his psychedelic Rolls Royce while being chauffeured around London in ‘67.

NAB Jab Brutus. Now get your paint brushes, rollers and pans ready. Mother Gargle will help Gladys’ supervise. You lucky man.

Smart man Brutus. That is one of those women decisions men should avoid at all cost. It’s like does this make me look fat or who’s prettier me or my sister.

From “Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House”:

Muriel Blandings: I want it to be a soft green, not as blue-green as a robin’s egg, but not as yellow-green as daffodil buds. Now, the only sample I could get is a little too yellow, but don’t let whoever does it go to the other extreme and get it too blue. It should just be a sort of grayish-yellow-green. Now, the dining room. I’d like yellow. Not just yellow; a very gay yellow. Something bright and sunshine-y. I tell you, Mr. PeDelford, if you’ll send one of your men to the grocer for a pound of their best butter, and match that exactly, you can’t go wrong! Now, this is the paper we’re going to use in the hall. It’s flowered, but I don’t want the ceiling to match any of the colors of the flowers. There’s some little dots in the background, and it’s these dots I want you to match. Not the little greenish dot near the hollyhock leaf, but the little bluish dot between the rosebud and the delphinium blossom. Is that clear? Now the kitchen is to be white. Not a cold, antiseptic hospital white. A little warmer, but still, not to suggest any other color but white. Now for the powder room – in here – I want you to match this thread, and don’t lose it. It’s the only spool I have and I had an awful time finding it! As you can see, it’s practically an apple red. Somewhere between a healthy Winesap and an unripened Jonathan. Oh, excuse me…

Mr. PeDelford: You got that, Charlie?

Charlie, Painter: Red, green, blue, yellow, white.

Mr. PeDelford: Check…

Martha Stewart, she is not, in more ways than one, as Martha was both a model and an actress before she became the Domestic Diva of our day. As to what shade of white goes into the kitchen or any color into any other room (other than a guy’s den or game room) husbands couldn’t care less. Have at it girl…..

At least she’s not eating those paint chips, they might cause vision problems because of the lead

“They’re all very similar.”

Nine out of ten albinos can’t tell the difference!

better than eggshell

Who’s going to do the painting??

Ha! I had a similar conversation with Mrs. “BigPlay” this past summer. We were getting ready to have the hose painted and she put up some samples, all slightly different shades of white. When I said “They all look the same to me. whatever you choose is fine”, she got mad and said I wasn’t putting in any effort for the project. I wish I would have come up with Brutus’ response. Brillant!

I understand why you want to paint it white, to make it easier on Chip.

Long way to go for a pun, Brutus

SNORK!!

Been there. Done that. Confronted by your better half to choose from several different shades of white. Shades of white where only the female eye can see any difference.

Me: They all look the same to me.

Better Half: The same? Are you blind?

Very clever way to draw and color the comic.

Poltergeist white sounds like it would be a LOT of fun!

G R O A N — LOLOL

being the born loser he should pick surrender flag white

my brother used to work for a large paint company. he was amazing at matching colors and said white and black were the hardest to match.

You have to admit, Gladys, you really asked for that… in more ways than one.

Poltergeist white… do the cabinets have locks?

Clever reply, Brutus.

brutus only needs to worry if gladys opts for “walter white”…

My wife and I have had a few humorous debates about the color “white” as it relates to clothing. Her slacks are never white, they’re “bone” or “eggshell” or “cream,” and so on. It comes down to those gags about the differences between men and women, one being that men only see in 16 colors, and that “peach” is a fruit, not a color.

So of course I fully expected Brutus and Gladys to engage in similar banter after she recites the list of paint colors. Instead, Brutus wins the day with a clever bit of wordplay. Truly a man after my own heart!