Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for June 10, 2019

Look before you back it in, lady.

Just buy a smaller toilet.

Big pipes in that plumbing!

Why is it that only men are capable of lowering the seat?

The Wiz’s loo must be a sink-hole for this to happen.

Oh well, at least you know that there aren’t any root problems in your sewer lines now.

Yes, but before that, you left the toilet seat down!

Poor Wiz – shouldn’t have to put up with THIS crap!

How did she get through the tiny hole?

We have to lower the lid every time because our cats like to jump on it to watch my wife when she’s doing her hair.

“Just a turd in the sewer of life….”

they have Really B I G crapper.. besides if She fell in. who flushed the crapper ?

It doesn’t work that way.

“Women make war over this. Many deaths.”

No, she left the toilet seat up.

I close both the seat and the lid, and I still get yelled at.

Why does a toilet have a lid if it was not meant to be down? At our house we keep it fair. Everyone has to put the lid down as well. Keeps the toddlers and the pets out.

Splish splash she was takin’ a bath!

Yeah… right… with that fat ass she can fall inside…

Wow! Big toilet for HER to go down….lol

I heard not putting both down causes water spray to not go into the room getting on things like your toothbrush.

I have little sympathy for anyone who goes into the bathroom, pulls down their pants and sits down on something they haven’t looked at.

Early water slide ;)

Those are storm water grates you see along the streets – they’re not connected to the sewage system. Just saying. But it’s still funny :)

Always put the lid down. Keeps the moat monsters from climbing up.

Toilets don’t come with seats. Seats are an accessory!

My Dad, a widower, left the seat up … unless I was visiting, then he immediately lowered it – after he discovered I returned it to upright position and actually told me in that firm father’s voice to leave it down because he was quite capable of raising the lid. (He was 90 when this discussion happened.)

How about looking at the seat before you sit down?!

And SOMEONE is going to DIE!!! lol

Oh, if only!

Lowering both the seat and lid, preferably before flushing, is more sanitary and aesthetically pleasing, and keeps stuff from falling in.

The above is true whether you’re male or female, btw.

“But the important thing is, did you have a nice swim?”

Ever try being a lady by leaving the seat UP?

Beg for mercy, Wiz even though you won’t get it.

Oh, good grief, Blanch! You are such a sewer loser!

I remember my mom telling my brother when he been in the bathroom too long,“did you fall in?”

Women leave it down and so men have to raise it. If men are lowering it for women then why shouldn’t women leave it up for men?

I once sat on a toilet when the seat was raised and proceeded to whine about it.

My mother, who was across the hall doing the ironing, looked up, fixed me with the patient gaze a loving parent has for an idiot offspring and said, “Jeff, you’re 5 years old. You’re old enough to look at a toilet before you sit on it.”

At most women….Do you cross the street before looking?