Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for December 26, 2020

Back to confusing conversations with females…

Beware when a lady says she has the Appetite of a Bird. That might be Aepyornis (Elephant Bird – extinct). And expect to watch as she devours three extra large pizzas!

Maybe she would prefer worms.

If that is Gwen, it looks like she had surgery or else bought better support.

Rodney, I hope that you brought your helmet along. I do believe that you are about to be pummeled severely by your date.

When she said bird, she meant a vulture, aaaaaand it’s your plate she will be eating from….

Bird? Like a Buzzard, Eagle, Hawk, Heron, etcetera, etcetera….

And thus ended the date!

Rod was never up on tactics.

How’d this imbecile manage to get that bird? Oh wait. He’s filthy rich isn’t he.

https://www.loe.org/shows/segments.html?programID=18-P13-00047&segmentID=6

I did not seed that coming.

It doth appear the Damsel will remain hungry and both will remain chaste.

We’re about to see the shortest date in history, unless she’s got a good sense of humor as well as looks. Good luck with that.

Which type of bird is she? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H173WxgvrhE&feature=emb_logo

See! This is what happens when things are taken so literally! LOL

Well, be thankful she said bird and not a much bigger animal

Okay, leave it to me to note birds can eat up to half their weight in a day.

Be glad she didn’t say that she’s “as light as a cloud”. The average cumulus cloud weighs about 500,000 pounds!

Source: https://www.usgs.gov/special-topic/water-science-school/science/how-much-does-a-cloud-weigh

And more bread, please. My date keeps picking the sesame seeds off of the rolls!

After watching how birds eat at my feeder, Rodney should have ordered two steaks for her.

Birds eat twice their own weight every day.

Do NOT order for your date UNLESS your date specifically asks you to. Even then, be very cautious or you can kiss that good night kiss or whatever, a sad goodbye…..

He’s going to be a henpecked husband.

Yeah, a pterodactyl!

First date & last date.

Is ordering for the lady still a thing? I always ordered for myself.

Makes me think of this Kliban classic – https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sWOV4R_oWHM/XbziGB7OjYI/AAAAAAAABzg/FZl5Urh85J4FVp0qOM2LkP7Gd_UPLz16QCLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/kliban%2Boriginal_NEW.jpg

On a budget eh Rodney?

Wow he misunderstood that……… But I don’t know if I quite get what she was trying to say.

Wall Street lays an egg.

Well, Rodney, your little chickadee may be admitting to eating about 1/3rd of her body weight each day…

Better than the worms.