Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for October 27, 2021

The aliens will probably take Mom to look after their kids but they would only take Dad if they need a patent attorney.

He later sold the earth to aliens for a bunch of leaves, so it’s not out of character for Calvin.

If you sell your parents to the aliens who’ll pay your tuiton fees?

Hopefully the star cruiser is insured; the aliens will want to cancel the trade if Calvin wrecks the star cruiser.

Chillingly accurate. (Shudder)

The sad thing is their lives would be better without this brat.

Just send Spaceman Spiff out to make a bargain with the Yukbarfs or something.

What if mom and dad are only worth half a star cruiser and Susie buys the other half so they can fly together?

I’d love to see Calvin and the aliens negotiate. No way a few people will be enough to satisfy the aliens.

Luke Skywalker this kid is not

More than likely Calvin, aliens would be more interested in returning you to the planet that you came from.;-D

How wealth is transferred…

Throw in Roslyn and Ms. Wormwood, and your star cruiser will be custom-made.

Ooooooo… that one didn’t age well, did it?

One can but dream…

Why would two slaves be more valuable than a star cruiser?

Oh sure, and it really hits the fan when the aliens give Mom the Leia Slave girl outfit to wear…

Were you punished for something Calvin? Is that why you want to sell Mom and Dad?

Might be a rest for them…

I’m not sure aliens would find anything of value in this current crop of Earthlings.

The young Zaphod Beeblebrox?

Wow! That’s pretty harsh Calvin! Who’s going to make your dinner? and buy the food? Cereal gets boring after a while and the milk will spoil too!

Okay I can see his logic. He might as well sell his servants for nice ride. Spaceman Spiff may be heroic but he isn’t necessarily one of the good guys.

How can Calvin be so sure that his parents don’t have the same idea but in reverse?

If aliens land, those two will be fighting for an hour over the aliens question of “Take me to your leader”. They can not get a meeting of G.R.O.S.S started without a fight over leadership…. Aliens? They should have Susie there!!

Great comic today – right up to the fourth panel. Ugh.

They came, they made the trade and now it’s Captain Calvin Kirk and Mr Hobbes Spock.

Don’t forget the photon torpedoes.

I swear, if I had coffee in my mouth when I got to the last panel, I’d have done a spit-take!

What a sweet, sweet boy.

More likely they would just snatch you two up for slave labor. Humans have limited lifespans – why not get as many years as possible from their slaves. Plus the younger you start, they easier it is to get the humans accustomed to obeying.

Although Calvin does seem resistant to such training.

The aliens will be thrilled to take this six year old out of this planet and make him smile all the aliens everyday on that planet. Parents down here, will be celebrating and going for another sibling at last.

Nice dimensionality on the moon.

Or perhaps they could swap out Calvin for a nice little house droid who does chores without complaining.

Or the parents would have sold Calvin for 30 pieces of silver.

it’s only because he has no siblings.

He could try to sell them Susie or his classmates. That way he gets a starship AND keeps his house cleaner and food preparer.

That means no more Calvin and Hobbs.

Meanwhile, Mom and Dad are looking for a UFO that they can sell Calvin to.

I can relate. I would have sold Masha and Salia to a Chinese slave ship for campaign cash for my all-important reelection.

He has his dreams!

“Good evening. Thank you for coming out to tonight’s auction. Mr. Moreau has asked me remind you that all winning bids must be paid upfront, and we only accept cash. First up on the auction block: Calvin. Don’t worry about him complaining about being kidnapped; he could not even identify the names of his own parents! This specimen can be used for any household chore. Has previous experience in room cleaning, dishwashing, and bathroom scrubbing. Again, this is a fine specimen. No scars, no visible injuries and examined personally by Mr. Moreau’s doctor. Opening bid for Calvin will be $1,000. Do I hear $2,000?”

Heh, I thought Hobbes looked a little like Winnie the Pooh in the third panel.