Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 18, 2016

He doesn’t say that to Pigita.

Umm, double check, pig. I am not sure you ever had any.

Old joke::An army sergeant was drilling some privates on the parade grounds, when two streakers suddenly ran by. One was tackled by the sergeant, and the other was grabbed by the privates.

Stephan needs visit form the comic strip censor again.

Where’s that cartoon censor when you need him?

Ok, if we’re playing that game….

When interviewers would ask Cary Grant about his favorite poetry or literature (which he considered a silly question to ask an actor…. )he would recite his “favorite poem”:

“They bought me a box of tin soldiersI threw all the Generals awayI Smashed up the Seargents and MajorsNow I play with my Privates all day.”

Now Pig, show us on this doll exactly where Rat touched.

Comic Censor! Stat!

As they would say on “Dragnet” ….."Just The Facts "

looks like the standard plot of every episode of Three’s Company

Rat’s got him by the short and skinny

Give Rat time he’ll get his Goat too

Yeah Rat! don’t touch his private parts, we need them for the hot dogs.

Can you point on this doll and show us where the bad man touched you?

Another poor choice of words by that dumb Pig…..or should I say Toon Boy??!!!

LOL! LOL!

Did you hear about the nun who chased the altar boy all around the church, and finally caught him…by the organ?

OMG! This one is hysterical! Thanks, Pastis.

Stephan dropped the ball by having Goat instead of the Comic Strip Censor here.

Hey Pig, maybe they’ll call you when they remake Howard Stern’s movie.

Better not let Howard Stern see this. Hoo Hoo you tell em Fred

I know where this is going next… something about “corporal punishment”!

during a church social a pastor friend of mine excused himself to visit the restroom.he returned a couple minutes later and as the group began their conversation a well known lady stepped up to the group and announced, ‘oh brother, i had to help him get his pants down again.’the silence that ensued and the looks of bewilderment and puzzlement was the funniest thing i had ever seen in my life.the blank look on the lady’s face when every one gawked at her and the beet red flush of the pastor’s face was ‘priceless’.then the lady said, “you’d think at 3 years old my son could pull down his own pants when he goes potty!”the communal release of breath that came and the roar of embarrassed/relieved laughter of the people who were a part of the conversation, was definitely a moment to remember.needless to say the pastor and the woman had a very hard time living that one down.

Cartoon Censor!!

… great. you made me picture it. BLUSH

(… like Goat, I’ll never be able to look pig in the eye again) :S

What does Pig have that he can get these naughty bit parts?

I have NCAA Women’s basketball on TV while browsing here on GoComics and I just saw the perfect name for a female basketball player – Aerial Powers…

Yes Goat, leave them in private.

As every C++ programmer knows, only a friend can touch your private members.

My sides.

xxx

These days, nothing is private!

Good one! LOL

Looking at Pig, I don’t think you’ve missed anything Goat. In fact, looking at Pig, why did anyone offer him his private parts in a film?!

sid caesar played how many parts in little me?? a bunch anyway

Goodnight, everybody!

I really shoulda seen this one coming, but didn’t catch on until the punchline. Made me laugh, although it was in an off way. How does Pastis do it, time and time again?

Made me snort and chuckle.

I’m with Goat. walks swiffly away

I nearly fell down laughing That’s as good as …Bigger pen.Is that right?