Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 21, 2017

Only use pay phones and manual typewriters (if you can find any of either).

When I use the bathroom, I have to remember to put the phone in a pocket, upside down.

Have I mentioned that I’m the proud user of a flip phone?

I always clear my cache on my browser in case of government spyware

Welcome to the club, Sherlock Watson (Reply button is stuck).

On the flip side, I pity the NSA techies that have to read through all of the tripe on Facebook.

Remember to remove your battery from your phone to ensure no one can turn it on remotely.

Ah… Good idea…

The aliens gave us cell phone technology when their tag and release program was defunded. This is why there are fewer alien abductions.

Was the tag and release part of the probing process?

But they don’t have to plant it on us. All they have to do is offer convenience in exchange for surveillance, and we’ll accept it willingly.

but I fool them! I live in a location without cell coverage!

While the data is more detailed with the tracking of cells and personal electronics, Did you ever look at Google Earth? And the government s have better than that.

Excellent!!! The plan is finally working!! The tin foil hat is the perfect antenna for our brain reading satellite network.

You will have to search hard to find real tin foil these days.

I ain’t wearing no stupid colander on my head. Instead, I’m getting my hair replaced with tin wires.

Oh no, they’re antennae!

So how did Paris Goat get his on over his horns?

Most people’s lives are much to boring to bother following.

But do recall that the government is recording and keeping all of your comments for future reference if you ever become ‘a person of interest’.

Non Sequitur mentions ’toon boy today…

for too many, our phones are glued to our heads.

I used to turn on my Location on Google Maps so I could see whether it was accurate on my journey to and from work. A few times it said I was in the river.

Now, I don’t bother with it.

xxx

Stephan – Check out Non Sequitur today!1

…win the #$%&! award this time, will ya?…

On another note, please check today’s Non Sequitur and see the honor paid to Mr. Pastis by Wiley Miller. I think that sort of peer recognition is worth 10 Reuben’s.

I don’t have a smartphone. Don’t even have a dumb phone. Just a landline, which Ack T &T is terminating in my state in July. I suppose I’ll have to break down and get a Trac or some similar dumb cell….

Why is Rat worried about the government spying on him? He’s the President!

If rat is wearing a tinfoil hat to disrupt surveillance, why are there antennas on it? Or is he transmitting noise?

I’m pretty sure the FitBits are used to track people, too ! Also, I wonder if they could somehow be hacked to emit dangerous electrical pulse signals to the wearer… maybe someday !

Also Alexa and realated “products” and the car one too.

I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to link to this photo of a stylishly coiffed rock band (sfw): http://i.imgur.com/z87sGxE.jpg

Worry not about sleeping comfort, worry about the government spying on you in your sleep. (Do you think they do that?)

We used aluminum foil on our rabbit ears to improve tv reception and it worked. So how much shielding to you think an aluminum hat provides?