Luann by Greg Evans and Karen Evans for December 14, 2017

I thought Toni wore Eau de Firefighter.

There are worse gifts, I guess …?

Brad looks oddly childish in the last panel.

Just shut up, TJ. Seriously. You clearly don’t know a thing about Toni, much less more than her husband does. Stop offering advice based on your own complete lack of experience and let someone who actually knows the woman choose her gift. At this point it’s borderline offensive: “she’s a girl, and everyone knows all girls like perfume! I know she’ll enjoy it, despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary!”

And at this point, it’d be just desserts if Brad got home only to find out Toni had gotten pissed at him for being gone this long (12 stores takes a while) and cancelled whatever she had planned. Maybe it’ll teach him to stop listening to Ol’ Rictus Grin’s dumb ideas.

I’ve avoided some poster’s inclination to make any assumptions about TJ.

But admittedly, in this episode he seems to be acting a bit effeminate.

Unless he’s just into being a big comedian.

TJ does not realize it, but those four perfumes he just sprayed on his arm were pheromone perfumes…

My daughter in law got me this foot spa. I used it only once – to warm up my frozen feet up in the snowy mountains. Bad idea to warm up near-frozen feet in front of a fireplace – foot spa was a good alternative. The only good stuff that came out of that box was the foot pumice – a useful tool. I might like the foot spa better if it came with foot masseuse.

That’s a nice gift you both can use especially after coming home from a long day or night of fire fighting. Your feet will thank you.

Well, I did get the spa part right. ;-)

Wait a Second. “Rasputin” here, actually has a semi-good Idea.

“Foot Massage.” Now THAT Is something that I have been Advocating for Months between Gunther and Tiffany! Hell, if the G-Man had been doing THAT along with those Welcomed Hugs, Tiffany would not only be OVER Her Depression, but She And Gunth would be picking out kid’s names by now!

As for Old Smiley? Brad I would HIGHLY Recommend a Nice FIST Massage right upside the “Grinning One’s” Head……,

Brad should’ve known better than to do this anyway. TJ always gives terrible advice.

“Running On Parfumes”

“Shut Down The Ol’-Factory, For A While”

“The Night He Drove Ol’ Dixie Cups Down” (♩)

“Smells Like Teens Seared It!” (♬)

“Fragrant Wanderer”

“It’s Parfum For The Course”

“Eau-De My-how-ya-stink!”

“For Whom The Smell Tolls”

“Aroma Like This Wasn’t Built In A Day”

“You Won’t Get Away!…Whiff This!”

“Bottled Feet”

“Sniff, And Scratch Your Nose Out”

or

“If I Could Save Chyme In A Bottle…” (♪)

That’s it, Brad! Run!…Run, before the teeny little molecules have a chance to find and hook on to you…

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…and have Toni wondering what ‘scent-of-a-woman’ found its way, onto you… and throw stuff at you, and confine you to the brig, shaped like a dog’s house, outside….

-

…though I’m sure it’s not really that,at all- but more so that one whiff of that stuff, and she’ll feek compelled to throw tomatoes at you, and quarantine you for a week…

-

…well, either way, run, cos you’d still be gettin’ stuff thrown at you and you’re still in ‘lockdown’….

Brad’s finally realizing that he’s being offered advice from a guy who never seems to have a girlfriend… or did I miss something in the earlier years of the strip?

TJ, we all know you mean well, and even though you live with them, you don’t know Toni as well as Brad does. Let him do his own thing and you find your own girl (and move out). Then everyone will be happy.

Oh no! Not the footwash! Buy the foot lotion and offer her foot rubs!

Bwad, you are perfect, according to Toni, BUT YOU DON’T KNOW EVERYTHING!! the perfume idea is not a bad one. what woman that looks like Toni doesn’t like a soft, discreet perfume? sure TJ is still alone, but this is not a bad idea. I do hope it doesn’t cost an arm and a leg.

TJ seems to be stalling, which pretty much supports the surprise party theory (though that does seem sort of anti-Toni, but maybe she figured Brad would like that sort of thing).

Now we are about to discover the previously unmentioned allergies resulting in avoidance of perfume.

By the way, doesn’t nature use smells to make up for lack of attractiveness otherwise? It would be a bit insulting to Toni to imply she just don’ got it no mo’. (No insult intended to those of you who desperately need perfume.)

That’s one step up from a vacuum cleaner. I still think flowers and maybe chocolates would have been a low-level, but romantic gesture. And a mushy card, too. Enough when you want it low key. Or just go out to dinner together. That’s what we do. No gifts.

Brad should only buy candles, light them around the bath tub so they both can enjoy them together and buy TJ a triple feature movie ticket or have him wait in line for Star Wars tickets.If Brad gives Toni a gift she will feel bad not getting one for Brad. I got one of those bath tubs “massagers” . ALL it did was blow COLD water our even though it was in a tub of hot water…stupid

Ahhh a foot spa.. sensible gift for someone who spends a lot of time on their feet

Ooh, if I had a guy that got me one of those foot spas, he’d definitely be getting some that night! Then again, I do have one and I’ve only used it once.

TJ is just killing time keeping Brad out of the house while Toni arranges a small celebration.

I actually enjoy buying perfume for my wife. Part of the appeal is that a young female shopkeeper tries everything out for me. I smell her wrist, etc. That said, this is a poor fit for Bradley, who is a typical hopeless male.

So is TJ “in on” some subterfuge planned by Toni?

No one should wear any fragrance out in public. Many people find it unpleasant to unbearable. It always smells stronger than you think it does.

Don’t do anything you really don’t want to do. Brad didn’t have the self-confidence to say. “I think I’ll stick with what I understand Toni to have said.” Blaming TJ misses the mark – he is just being himself.

5

Pipe and coffee commentary for this morning:

Overall I seem to have a different perspective today than the majority of posts thus far:

1. I now think that TJ is (as people had suggested a few days ago) purposefully stalling to give time for Toni to do something “elaborate” for Brad at home. My reason for this new belief is that TJ is a whole helluva lot wiser than he is portraying this week in regards to gifts. The paint-by-numbers kit, and the perfume are so OBVIOUSLY foolish and non-creative options…. that TJ is just messing around. And, I firmly believe he is doing so to buy time for Toni to do whatever she is setting up. ’

2. I find the rancor towards TJ always to be surprising in the comments. To me, he reminds me of my own goofball friend, and I am sure most of us have at least one friend who is much like this. Yes, he may sometimes be annoying, but gee, after all the years…. you sort of learn to accept folks for who they are.

3. From my manner of thinking, the foot massager/foot bath device is just about as tacky and ill-suited a gift as anything TJ has jokingly suggested thus far. Brad should look for the “Ronco” brand foot bath (and be sure to get one of the boxes with the “As Seen on TV!!!!!” stickers on it too) to add just that little extra bit of tackiness…. since that seems to be what he is aiming for if he goes through with this purchase.

4. If Brad is going to “rebel” now…. he should go back to his original plan of a card or nothing.

5. Hah! Now, I just thought of a potential crazy turn of events…. Brad and TJ drive home from the mall, and Toni is inside, having set up an “elaborate” celebration (since Brad likes this)…… BUT, BUT…. as Brad and TJ pull into their neighborhood and see the driveway in the distance, they see Jonah’s old, beat-up Chevette pulling into the driveway ahead of them…. (ominous music ensues).

Enough of my thoughts for the moment. Pipe is finished and coffee fully consumed. Back to work.

@MOOSE: I keep wondering where you get the idea that Gunther would be willing to rub anyone’s feet. Just doesn’t seem like him…

Shannon will use the foot massager to give her Godzilla doll saunas.

Brad’s learning about relationships, as we all are! He should read this pretty good book on the 5 Languages of Love. Basically, my gesture of “I love you!” might mean to another person “Muh muh muh…!” if we use different languages - even if the love is real & true! Sadly, most men would rather read up on NFL stats than being successful in relationships…… Anyway, Greg, fun buddy chemistry with TJ & Brad! Reminds me of the Odd Couple (the movie / TV show).

guess Brad’s had enough. Hope Toni had enough time to prepare whatever …

TJ’s test track, his wrist, reminds me of my one dogs who used to like licking my wrist where the sweaty, leather watch band was.

TJ has outlived his usefulness (if he ever had any). It’s time for him to be erased. Maybe we can hire Big Greg and Little Karen to rub him out?

Brad’s feet are sore from walking around the mall so he’s projecting his needs (foot vibrator or whatever that is) onto Toni.

TJ has been with Brad & Toni for quite a while. Evidently Brad & Toni have a high threshold for irritation.

It’s a stall, but kinda curious of the outcome. If I were Toni, I would have had him make and serve a nice dinner (being he is the chef) and then get him out of the house by rewarding him with a paid hotel room (that he likes).