Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 07, 2018

Now the neighbors regret sending you the invitation.

I would like to know why the third five and the second one were boops, while the rest were beeps.

Or maybe I’ll regret asking.

I’m not familiar with that phrase. Seriously, it sounds like their saying they don’t want folks to come and are asking them to reply with something like “I’m sorry, but regretfully I will have to decline your invitation as I’ll be going to my daughter’s ballet recital that day.”

It’d help if they had given a date and time.

Because your permanent record follows you all the days of your life.

The neighbours are directory assistance? No wonder they know so much about everyone.

With regrets, I regretfully plan to regretfully attend your regretful anniversary that you regretfully invited us to regretfully attend. I regretfully advise my regretful plus-one will be regretful Steph. Regretfully Pig

Just as well Pig opted out – sounds like a big group therapy session!

They’ll be collecting all those regrets that everyone phones in, and reading them aloud at the party.

Regrets? I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention.

What if you can’t go, but don’t regret it?

Stephan, the dialing tones are wrong! It must be : beep beep beep boop beep boop beep…

Took me a second to get the joke. Caffeine is working slowly this a.m.

so if you call with your regrets your number gets sold to telemarketer?

Wonder if the Crocs got an invitation ? Zebra snacks anyone ?

With the hot teacher.

Regrets, I’ve had a few, But then again, too few to mention. Sing it, Frankie.

“They’re”

I regret I opened and read the comments.

Thank you very much for using the word “invitation” and not using the word “invite” as a noun.

Ffs, Steph! If the number starts with 555, then it should’ve been ‘beep-beep-beep’, not ‘beep-beep-boop’.

I’m pretty sure Pastis used this same joke in an earlier strip.

A couple of women moved in next door and after we all got to be friends when they asked me what I wanted for my birthday I said I wanna watch and so they got me a Seiko. Go figure, nice watch though.

Confusion and a bit of laughter ensure shortly after the call ends.

Pig…you’re being a bit too literal atm…

555-1212? That’s still directory assistance, right? How many years ago was the 555 rule changed to “they have to start with 555-01 now” (which is why 555-0199 is a popular phone number in the movies and on TV)? I remember somebody on an “American Dad” DVD commentary saying they got into trouble for using a 555 number that didn’t start with 555-01.

I had to read it twice and then – Zing! Good one!

“I regret that I have only one vote to give for my country!”

I guess being terribly literal-minded is better than being totally witless, Pig, but sometimes in your case it’s hard to tell the difference….

The point of the plot lines with Pig as the foil, is to show how dumb some people can be….like not understanding “Regrets Only”.