Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for June 05, 2019

But is it art?

Just sell “snowstorm” for a hundred grand.

You can get-rich-quicker if you use a bigger brush.

How much did he pay for the course and is the money refundable? Sounds a lot like some university that had to pay a $25 million fine

STEP 1: Steal underpants.

STEP 2: (fill in blank)

STEP 3: Make profit

“How to Live to a Hundred”

“Live to 99, and then be very careful. Thanks for the $100!”

Or you can skip the “fill it in” step and call it performance art.

Throw some paint at it. That worked for Pollock.

Saw two 4′×8′ white plywood panels in an art gallery for $1500. I could have done it for about $60.

The Bob Ross School of Painting.

Draw two circles. Now draw the rest of the **** owl.

In DC years ago, while touring a gallery, there was one wall which held a 6′×9′ panel that, a first glance, appeared to be flat black. Not particularly interesting. But, as I was passing through the door next to it, the light hit it and there was a black-on-black cross and some other faint figures. So you had to be in just the right location, with just the right angle and type of light to see it. Otherwise nothing showed up. Must have cost a bundle one day. The artist titled it #117. Beyond wondering why anyone would buy that particular item, I also wondered what happened to the other 116. Or maybe numbers 118 or 119 were waiting to be snapped up?

Apparently, if you are famous enough, you don’t have to bother with the whole painting thing. Just sign a blank canvas and it will sell.

“How to draw Doug” has better instructions.

One of the many courses offered at Trump University.

I always thought someone should steal a modern art painting, make a dozen forgeries & sell them to rich fools who think they’re getting the stolen one & then return the original to the insurance company for the reward, with no questions asked, as insurers of fine art have often done that.

“Is it expensive?” Yes. “Well then I like it.” – Edina Monsoon (Absolutely Fabulous)

Leave it blank and call it “Trump’s Mind”.

Remember, every artist has a right to be rich and successful so if people aren’t buying your paintings have a law passed so that the government does it and then everyone is taxed more to pay for it. Who could object to that, except for shortsighted greedy people whining about how they “earned” their money, as if the government didn’t make it possible for them to have whatever job they do have.

The Canadian government did just that to support Canadian writers. The results were uniformly bad, and were called “CanLit.”

Filling in the canvas is the easy part. The hard part, the part that takes imagination, is the psycho-babble that will impress the buyers. The painting called “Fire” is simply a canvas filled with red paint.

You have to be a really good con artist to pull that off.

The eyes keep following me!

I especially like the asterisk, too bad you won’t be around to spend it. Another van Gohl tragedy.

So if you die first, who gets to “get rich quick”?

Remember those ads on the back of matchbooks?

…

Remember matchbooks?

Step 2.A. Find someone even More Gullible as you are to sell it To.

Artist to gallery owner, " Is any of my art selling? "Gallery owner, " Yes, your doctor has bought a lot "Artist " Fantastic "Gallery owner, " I told him your art would triple in value when you die "

Who gets rich quick, the artist, or the school?