I always found it smarter to simply nod and stay quiet when people were blathering in that mode. Then go back to adding actual value, by doing actual work, that created things that the company could actually sell for actual money. Almost all the blather eventually went away, along with the blatherers (and was replaced by blather that used different words to say the same amount of nothing). I did enjoy the fad of having stand up meetings. And “Agile” worked pretty well as long as the group (and the tools) were able to cope with the reality of discovering trouble part way into the development process.
Someday I expect to see some guy in a Star Trek uniform in this spot with a sign that reads “modulated my shield frequencies when I should have reversed my field polarity”.
corporate philosophy written in obfuscatory terminology and digital moats in the form of long phone menus protect the inner sanctums of the 1%. That poor mutt had probably reached about 5.5% when he finally caved.
In my first real job I maximized product placement which increased consumer consumption and corporate profits with minimum investment in time and money.
i.e. I worked in a grocery store stocking shelves for minimum wage after school.
There’s only one thing worse than being stuck in a room full of computer development engineers, and that’s being in a room full of business marketing mavens.
I think it means failed to intrinsically create long-term high-impact functionalities, or perhaps didn’t rapidiously mesh accurate methods of empowerment, or possibly even was slow to energistically develop enterprise potentialities…
After a couple of years of board meetings I put together a Buzzword Bingo sheet and once almost shouted “Bingo!” because it was flowing fast and thick.
I hate corporate speak. Read any LinkedIn bio which uses such terminology and you’ll find a corporate jerk only looking out for themselves, those who outline themselves with a concise and succinct bio, are the ones who are loyal and will actually make a difference with a company.
His real problem is that he never realized it was all just a Bluff that meant Nothing except as a smokescreen to identify people who could be Bluffed out of their Bonus Checks.
Watcher over 5 years ago
This is what happens when you listen to Secretary Rick Perry.
kaffekup over 5 years ago
He should have invested in the blockchain of Bitcoin.
sirbadger over 5 years ago
He went from having a tin ear to having a tin cup.
wiatr over 5 years ago
I understood Sheldon Cooper and the guys better than I can figure out what that gibberish says.
Superfrog over 5 years ago
Your career package has been rebalanced and your options were rotated.
Concretionist over 5 years ago
I always found it smarter to simply nod and stay quiet when people were blathering in that mode. Then go back to adding actual value, by doing actual work, that created things that the company could actually sell for actual money. Almost all the blather eventually went away, along with the blatherers (and was replaced by blather that used different words to say the same amount of nothing). I did enjoy the fad of having stand up meetings. And “Agile” worked pretty well as long as the group (and the tools) were able to cope with the reality of discovering trouble part way into the development process.
dadoctah over 5 years ago
Someday I expect to see some guy in a Star Trek uniform in this spot with a sign that reads “modulated my shield frequencies when I should have reversed my field polarity”.
Say What? Premium Member over 5 years ago
The only phrase that really matters in the corporate world language is “maximize profits”. Everything else is baloney.
eastern.woods.metal over 5 years ago
He should have got the APP for that
Zebrastripes over 5 years ago
Didn’t they ’splain to ya?
Masterskrain over 5 years ago
“If you can’t dazzle them with diamonds, baffle them with bulls***!”
SusieB over 5 years ago
It means you’ve been aged out
sandpiper over 5 years ago
Except for suit colors, these guys could be looking at the before and after of themselves.
DanFlak over 5 years ago
If you want to see this kind of drivel, look at people’s resumes or their Linked-in profiles.
sandpiper over 5 years ago
corporate philosophy written in obfuscatory terminology and digital moats in the form of long phone menus protect the inner sanctums of the 1%. That poor mutt had probably reached about 5.5% when he finally caved.
uniquename over 5 years ago
It means he’s over 23 yrs old.
txmystic over 5 years ago
This all goes back to the seven habits of highly effective people—one must proactively leverage one’s synergies into win-win solutions…
nosirrom over 5 years ago
In my first real job I maximized product placement which increased consumer consumption and corporate profits with minimum investment in time and money.
i.e. I worked in a grocery store stocking shelves for minimum wage after school.
Herb L 1954 over 5 years ago
And the band plays on ;(
Al Nala over 5 years ago
I hear ya, bro.
Godfreydaniel over 5 years ago
Throw corporate executives at the wall, and if they don’t stick, throw them HARDER!
COL Crash over 5 years ago
Well there’s going to be a lot of that since that Paradigm shift destroys quite a few Business Models.
Snoots over 5 years ago
This comic makes more sense than just about everything I’ve read lately. ;D
Linguist over 5 years ago
There’s only one thing worse than being stuck in a room full of computer development engineers, and that’s being in a room full of business marketing mavens.
ChessPirate over 5 years ago
I think it means failed to intrinsically create long-term high-impact functionalities, or perhaps didn’t rapidiously mesh accurate methods of empowerment, or possibly even was slow to energistically develop enterprise potentialities…
Honorable Mention In The Banjo Toss Premium Member over 5 years ago
An existential problem with transactional issues.
Bilan over 5 years ago
Translation: He couldn’t change with the times.
anomaly over 5 years ago
After a couple of years of board meetings I put together a Buzzword Bingo sheet and once almost shouted “Bingo!” because it was flowing fast and thick.
Bicycle Dude over 5 years ago
I hate corporate speak. Read any LinkedIn bio which uses such terminology and you’ll find a corporate jerk only looking out for themselves, those who outline themselves with a concise and succinct bio, are the ones who are loyal and will actually make a difference with a company.
AMBER1 over 5 years ago
Don’t know what that means, either. ;)
Radish... over 5 years ago
It means more profit for the company while providing less to the customer.
bakana over 5 years ago
His real problem is that he never realized it was all just a Bluff that meant Nothing except as a smokescreen to identify people who could be Bluffed out of their Bonus Checks.
(i.e. RIFed)
dot-the-I over 5 years ago
His absconded ceramic coffee mug, his last grasp of personal justice and dignity.