And here we go. The big reveal is, they are both shooting for Valedictorian. Whoop-di-do. Possible stories involve one of them taking classes that are layups (to use the basketball theme), cheating, performance anxiety (no, not that kind). I’m sure she’ll be mad at him all winter, he’ll try to be nice, they’ll reach an understanding at the end, then they’ll kiss, fade to black. Baseball time!
Jerry Reinsdorf, owner of the Chicago White Sox and Bulls was supposedly caught on tape saying to never finish above 2nd place. I think his teams aren’t disappointing him either
In a bid to draw attention away from this latest obvious plot—see Mopman above—and to take stock of our achievements, we are going to recap, year by year, the entire decade of Milford seasons to find out which one readers loved (or possibly, hated) the most. Please suggest a year and we will get right to the first installment. Though if there is no interest we will give you one anyway and press on mercilessly until each year is covered!
On the basis of one vote, we give you 2014, the year of Gil Thorp in review! Please send in votes for the next year in this decade of awesome plots!
Winter 2014: Power forward twins Wendy and Wynn Wiley are the hopes of Milford hoops. But Wynn’s weird protectiveness over too-tall, ex-dancer Wendy and Wendy’s viral wardrobe malfunction combine to yield a season of excessive rough stuff, including elbows to the head of taunting opponents and fisticuffs among Wynn’s teammates, one of whom wants to date Wendy. Dissension and suspensions doom the Milford basketball teams’ chances. Wendy finally goes on a date, with St. Fabian’s Keegan Hershey, who scraps dinner plans in favor of presenting her to a creepy party of e-curious dudes. But everything is quickly better because Gil suggests to give the internet trolls something new to look at: a flash mob! Teen social media bullying solved! Spring 2014: Lucky Haskins’s good luck rubs off, in its entirety, on his new girlfriend, formerly clumsy Amy Lange. She rises from sub to star in softball, while Lucky airmails an easy out to wreck slop-throwing Paul Dillon’s perfect game, etc. Haskins proposes his innovative, zero-sum-luck-in-relationships theory to Amy, prompting their epic prom breakup. But then they reconcile after Lucky confers with Gil and gets lucky with Amy again! (To be continued.)
Summer 2014: Due to his dad’s new job, Junior All-America QB Truman Standish is moving to the Valley, but which school will he attend? Somehow never having heard of True, Gil is not bargaining with annoying and Hilton-dwelling Mr. Standish, but True picks Milford anyway! Meanwhile QB Jarrod Hale leads Milford’s 7-on-7 team through a mediocre summer. Fall 2014: New student True shakes off an ankle injury and takes over as QB1, displacing disgruntled now-QB2 Jarrod, but he slides over to RB after True, faking injury, lets him be Homecoming QB. The new backfield clicks, and makes it to the state finals. With only seconds remaining, True’s passing having moved the team to the Pius XI 4-yard line, and a touchdown needed to take the title, True takes a bad hit to his shoulder. During the timeout, Gil calls for the Statue of Liberty. True levels a crushing block, Jarrod glides into the end zone, and Milford wins the State Championship!
I am proud to say that I was salutatorian of my class! But less proud to admit that I was homeschooled. And ever less proud to admit that I have no siblings.
P1 – So nobody has really talked about the “Teddy DeMarco’s little bunch” comment. What does that mean? Are they bullies who pick on Chris because he’s “a nerd”? Is bullying part of this story? If so, does Alexa, despite her rivalry, use her big man hands to put Teddy and his bunch in their place?
P3 – Au contraire, Alexa. There can be co-valedictorians! Happens all the time. I thought you were supposed to be smart?
And speaking of smart, you’d be smart to read today’s installment of Mopped Up Thorp.
michaeljwolff about 5 years ago
Then settle it the old fashioned way: the two of you with swords on the top floor of a building in Queens.
TheBrownStarfish about 5 years ago
P1, Teddy Demarco’s Little Bunch sounds like a good band name for a group of midgets. Nice shine on that floor, MOP.
P2, Maybe it’s not an act.
P3, And the other might grow up to be the janitor here someday!
Bucky about 5 years ago
I would have been valedictorian of my class if it weren’t for my grades!!!
ksronlinemedia about 5 years ago
Epic turtleneck, Alexa.
dutchpuppy about 5 years ago
“There can be only one!” What was that movie and TV series with that catch phrase? McCloud living forever, cutting off heads of rivals, etc?
Charks about 5 years ago
Charles Barkley calls #2 “best loser”.
Mr Reality about 5 years ago
Alexa , Call Teddy " The Exterminater " Demarco and have him eliminate Chris , in all reality .
Ignatz Premium Member about 5 years ago
I was valedictorian of my summer school.
nuncanunca about 5 years ago
Aw, man! I was hoping it was going to be that Chris Schuring identifies as female during basketball season, so that they were rivals on the court.
jrankin1959 about 5 years ago
OK… and after that?
Mopman about 5 years ago
And here we go. The big reveal is, they are both shooting for Valedictorian. Whoop-di-do. Possible stories involve one of them taking classes that are layups (to use the basketball theme), cheating, performance anxiety (no, not that kind). I’m sure she’ll be mad at him all winter, he’ll try to be nice, they’ll reach an understanding at the end, then they’ll kiss, fade to black. Baseball time!
bearwku82 about 5 years ago
P4- ….and if you’re not first, you’re last. R. Bobby.
dadjo about 5 years ago
P2 – How does she get her right way to look in one direction and the left one in another?
A whole week of whining and not a single panel dedicated to hoops practice or shower scenes? Oh the humanity!
hifirick1953 about 5 years ago
I wonder how many giant hand drawings we have been exposed to since we had a Gil sighting?? Wasn’t Tru valedictorian?
Irish53 about 5 years ago
Jerry Reinsdorf, owner of the Chicago White Sox and Bulls was supposedly caught on tape saying to never finish above 2nd place. I think his teams aren’t disappointing him either
bitsy twill about 5 years ago
Yes! One of my 3 wild guesses was right!
Snarker formerly known as Rube Whigham about 5 years ago
In a bid to draw attention away from this latest obvious plot—see Mopman above—and to take stock of our achievements, we are going to recap, year by year, the entire decade of Milford seasons to find out which one readers loved (or possibly, hated) the most. Please suggest a year and we will get right to the first installment. Though if there is no interest we will give you one anyway and press on mercilessly until each year is covered!
tcar-1 about 5 years ago
Playdowns? not in Milford but as I type this I am watching Shelby ahead 34-0 late in the fourth enroute to their 12th NC HS state title.
Snarker formerly known as Rube Whigham about 5 years ago
On the basis of one vote, we give you 2014, the year of Gil Thorp in review! Please send in votes for the next year in this decade of awesome plots!
Winter 2014: Power forward twins Wendy and Wynn Wiley are the hopes of Milford hoops. But Wynn’s weird protectiveness over too-tall, ex-dancer Wendy and Wendy’s viral wardrobe malfunction combine to yield a season of excessive rough stuff, including elbows to the head of taunting opponents and fisticuffs among Wynn’s teammates, one of whom wants to date Wendy. Dissension and suspensions doom the Milford basketball teams’ chances. Wendy finally goes on a date, with St. Fabian’s Keegan Hershey, who scraps dinner plans in favor of presenting her to a creepy party of e-curious dudes. But everything is quickly better because Gil suggests to give the internet trolls something new to look at: a flash mob! Teen social media bullying solved! Spring 2014: Lucky Haskins’s good luck rubs off, in its entirety, on his new girlfriend, formerly clumsy Amy Lange. She rises from sub to star in softball, while Lucky airmails an easy out to wreck slop-throwing Paul Dillon’s perfect game, etc. Haskins proposes his innovative, zero-sum-luck-in-relationships theory to Amy, prompting their epic prom breakup. But then they reconcile after Lucky confers with Gil and gets lucky with Amy again! (To be continued.)
Snarker formerly known as Rube Whigham about 5 years ago
Summer 2014: Due to his dad’s new job, Junior All-America QB Truman Standish is moving to the Valley, but which school will he attend? Somehow never having heard of True, Gil is not bargaining with annoying and Hilton-dwelling Mr. Standish, but True picks Milford anyway! Meanwhile QB Jarrod Hale leads Milford’s 7-on-7 team through a mediocre summer. Fall 2014: New student True shakes off an ankle injury and takes over as QB1, displacing disgruntled now-QB2 Jarrod, but he slides over to RB after True, faking injury, lets him be Homecoming QB. The new backfield clicks, and makes it to the state finals. With only seconds remaining, True’s passing having moved the team to the Pius XI 4-yard line, and a touchdown needed to take the title, True takes a bad hit to his shoulder. During the timeout, Gil calls for the Statue of Liberty. True levels a crushing block, Jarrod glides into the end zone, and Milford wins the State Championship!
twainreader about 5 years ago
Salutatorian, bah!
cuttersjock about 5 years ago
…did we get to Milford CC in 2014?Were the showers featured?
If no, I DQ it!
Mopman about 5 years ago
I am proud to say that I was salutatorian of my class! But less proud to admit that I was homeschooled. And ever less proud to admit that I have no siblings.
Mopman about 5 years ago
P1 – So nobody has really talked about the “Teddy DeMarco’s little bunch” comment. What does that mean? Are they bullies who pick on Chris because he’s “a nerd”? Is bullying part of this story? If so, does Alexa, despite her rivalry, use her big man hands to put Teddy and his bunch in their place?
P3 – Au contraire, Alexa. There can be co-valedictorians! Happens all the time. I thought you were supposed to be smart?
And speaking of smart, you’d be smart to read today’s installment of Mopped Up Thorp.
https://moppedupthorp.wordpress.com/
Snarker formerly known as Rube Whigham about 5 years ago
OK, now looking for a second year of the 2010s to recap. Suggestions?