Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for March 24, 2020

Based on my experience, sheep know two jokes: They can get lost. And they can die. Even chickens are smarter than sheep.

That makes me superior. I know two jokes.

Shawn The Sheep must be a mutant, he knows a lot of jokes.

“Knock knock”

“Who’s there?”

“Ewe”

“Ewe who?”

“Ewe’ll never find us!”

Now I feel like eating lamb.

They only k now the one joke, but it’s really Baaaaaaad!

I expect the Wiley Bears to show up soon!

Granny Aching had been an expert on sheep, even though she called them “just bags of bones, eyeballs, and teeth, lookin’ for new ways to die.” Other shepherds would walk miles to get her to come and cure their beasts of ailments. They said she had the Touch, although she just said that the best medicine for sheep or man was a dose of turpentine, a good cussin’, and a kick. Bits of paper with Granny’s own recipes for sheep cures stuck out all over the book. Mostly they involved turpentine, but some included cussin’. – on Granny Aching’s sheep cures | Terry Pratchett, The Wee Free Men

bet ol’ bo peep feels pretty sheepish that they keep pulling the wool over her eyes…

Another victim of woolly thinking.

They’re just trying to pull the wool over her eyes.

Shawn the Sheep, he’s Shawn the sheep…

Well, in truth, sheep haven’t really been bred over the millennia to be clever. They turn grass into wool and that magic is good enough.

Playing Hide & Sheep

And thus the origin of today’s “Sheeple”

The Connivance of the Lambs…

Bo Peep probably wouldn’t enjoy data entry job at a car wash either.

Where’s the bears?

They’re pulling the wool over her eyes.

Okay, I didn’t wanna be lame, but I don’t get it: what’s the ONE joke that sheep know?

Little Bo Peep had fallen asleepAnd dreamt that she was all aloneBut when she awokeAnd pulled back her cloakShe saw that her sheep had come home.Not as much fun when you don’t play along with the joke.

Where are Sam the Sham,and the Pharaohs?Wooly Bully ;)

And then the Big Bad Wolf showed up, and it turned from a joke to a tragedy. Stupid sheep!

“Son of a b_itch!” “They always pull this crap fifteen minutes before quitting time.”

They tried that “bucket of water on the door sill” gag once, but it didn’t get a very big laugh.

The only good thing about sheep is that they are herd animals, so usually they go off and get lost together, which makes them easier to find. It’s also good that they are “heard” animals; you can follow the bleats.

Don’t tell me that little tart is still stuck on knock-knock jokes.

Our wild animal park here in Escondido has lost several sheep to a predator, and has hired a professional hunter to track him down. Scary.

Sheep will decide it’s a good day to die.

They’re on the lamb.

Ewe knew I had to go there.

That was a bleating good cartoon today.

Sheep, like the hedgehog, do one thing well……..

Hear about the shepherd who tried to count how many sheep he had. He’s still asleep.

That’s not the joke. This is the joke: Why did the ram fall off the cliff? He didn’t see the ewe turn!

“Yes, but why are they up in the trees?”

Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep

The radar has failed to find them

They’ll all face to face meet in parallel space

Preceding their leaders behind them.

……………….The Space Child’s Mother Goose

The sheep only know one joke, and it’s a baaaaaaad one.

Those sheep are pretty cute.