Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for May 09, 2020

They’re just going to serve him some gooseberries and nuts. (His own.)

What I wonder about is how the bears got so literate.

The bears will learn humans aren’t edible.

Education isn’t much good unless you remember it long enough to profit from it. This education looks to be about 15 or 20 feet long.

Isn’t it more like the ’’hommenivore’’ experience?

These Wiley Bears™ are better spellers now. Next, they will advertise “The Bare Bones” diet…

Bears got calligraphy.

mmmmm…betcha can’t eat just one…

Paleo diet in actuality.

Ah, yes, the proverbial omnivore’s dilemma.

Love Wiley bears!

The other day my doorbell rang. When I opened the door, there was a primly dressed mouse standing there with a book in it’s paw who said, “Let me tell you about Cheeses…”

YAY!!!! WILEY BEARS!!! YAY!!!

Omnivores eat anything.

I am more of a panivore, these days … I eat everything.

There is trouble bruin.

Some lessons are more painful than others.

Omnivore, meet omnivores.

I could swear I saw almost this same strip on Non Sequitur a few months ago…

Lose up to 200 pounds in one bite!

Luv dem Wiley bears………… LOL!!!!

Oforgodsake children, it’s a cartoon! Not everything is political

Doesn’t have a lot of meat on his bones.

As was said by a certain cartoon feline "Diet is only die with a “t” at the end. He also said, “I’m not overweight, I’m under tall.”

Talk about the high cost of education — tuition at that Learning Center is a real bear!

It’s “The Wiley Bears”! There is never a bad time for The Wiley Bears!!!!!!!

‘The bears are back, and there’s gonna be trouble…’

That lesson’s not likely to last too long.

In case anyone was puzzled about references to little bells and pepper, let me tell the story, I can tell it all (sorry, flashing on “Thunder Road” there):

The young couple on their honeymoon were about to spend the week camping in Yellowstone, but first they had to listen to the ranger’s orientation speech. He was particularly emphatic about bears. “They’re a protected species, so we’ve got lots of them, but they’re still dangerous. Don’t approach them under any circumstances. And don’t try to outrun them; they’re faster than you are. And climbing a tree won’t help, either; they’re better at it than you.”

The nervous groom asked what they could do about it.

“Well, some people stop by the gift shop and pick up wristlets or anklets with little bells. Sometimes if they hear you coming, they’ll move off before you get there. You can also get cans of pepper spray in case you surprise one. Oh, and be on the lookout for fresh bear scat; that’s a sign that they’re around and you might want to leave.”

“What’s scat?” asked the bride.

“Bear droppings. You can tell what kind of bear it is by what their poop looks like. The smaller ones, black bears, have scat that’s kind of firm and roundish, like dark ping-pong balls. The really dangerous guys, the big grizzlies, have softer, flatter, lighter-colored droppings, kind of like cowpies, except they usually have little bells and smell like pepper.”

Lesson One: For Omnivores, You are very tasty with a bit of spicy Dijon Mustard.

Well, social distancing means you get a 6 foot head start, right?!