Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for May 07, 2020

In addition, he interrupted class once to request a parade. And he’s constantly chatting up that Phoebe girl who thinks he’s “relentless” but “cute”, not to mention choosing a new nickname for a boy formerly known as “Z”. Did you know they call him “The Mayor”, Mrs. Knappe? Did you??

A weapon? Please. Dr. Pearl, you’ve been an educator for 80 years. Name one student who was attacked by someone wielding a butter knife that was brought from home.

I say Mayor McPeanut did it in English Class with a Butterknife – do I win this game of Clue?

P1: Peanut butter and a butter knife. Not shown: a sharp, hard, pointy pencil, a wet towel from the locker room, and a baseball bat. Mike is a walking arsenal.

P2: Gil somehow got a giant sushi roll to lean on with his right hand. No word on whether fish allergies are taken as seriously as peanut allergies.

P3: Doc Pearl has adopted the “in” look for so many Milford women, the “Snidely Whiplash.”

“See you in court”

I think Dr Pearl is a real gem. Word around beautiful downtown Milford..she is definitely having an affair with the Moon Man.

If I were the parents I would ask for a random search of all the lockers, would find way more more interesting items than this stupid butter knife.

Dr. Perl is especially sensitive to this issue, since the time in 1986 when a student tried to use a butter knife to cut her bun.

In all reality , we have to remember that Milford is about 25 years behind the rest of the country which has already dealt with the zero tolerance issue in its schools. Looking into the future 25 years from now I see the next generation of snarkers commenting on the pandemic and closing Milford High School and all athletics.

P1, The deadly butterknife and even worse The Nutso Peanut Butter named after The Mayor himself.

P2, No sports on TV, none! We come here to see some baseball or softball and what do we get? Freakin’ breakfast!

P3, Next week, a vicious towel snapping incident in the boy’s locker room!

Rod Whigham is omitting the one prop that makes me take Martha Pearl seriously. That gag gift broach she wore last week. Like napalm, a squirt of Estee Lauder White Shoulders will render an attacker helpless. My great Aunt wore it everyday and when she hugged me, it encircled me. I loved her, but that stuff was overpowering.

So the Mayor has a father? Can’t wait to see if he’s as 1950’s-ish as the mom

Oh good peanut butter! I’m starving. Anybody have any bread?

Time for HvB to make an appearance; I’m sure she’s ready to get over on MHS with another kid who wants to beat the system since the NBA season was cancelled and having to sit around with JQ all day

Gil now saves the season when he whips out some Polaroids and reminds the good Doctor of his “collection”.

Gil and Kaz better hope the baseball team doesn’t get loofahs classified as weapons

This makes it impossible for Ice-T to speak at an assembly in Milford as his lethal weapon is his mind.

So what is the story line here, to me it’s as plain as can be…a comic satire on political correctness run amok, but for some reason I don’t think that is the storyline.

P1 – I guess the Nutso is also part of the evidence, since she felt fit to put that on display with the knife. He’s in double trouble.

P2 – What is Gil doing in that crouched position? I don’t think he’s at the right angle to be sitting on Dr. Pearl’s desk. Besides, if he was, she’d probably stab him with that knife. Maybe he’s taking a dump on this story. I approve, even if that means I have to clean it up.

P3 – Be careful when you look at the color version when you read today’s Mopped Up Thorp. You might just get lost in Dr. Pearl’s beautiful baby blues!

https://moppedupthorp.wordpress.com/

this is a ridiculous story line

this all goes back to that ol lady that spilled her coffee on her lap while driving and sues Mickey D’s and got a ton of money! All bulldung and shyster lawyers!

Shouldn’t a giant hand be pointing to the knife in P1??

Technically, the body is a weapon if employed properly. As is the mind. Schools could be charged with building up both as long as they are going to be stupid about such things. Shame on any adult that thinks it is okay for schools to behave as if a butter knife is a weapon.

Throw him in jail alongside those mother stabbing, father rapers who Arlo Guthrie had to sit next to for littering.

“You pulled me out of budget meetings for a butter knife?!”

In Alaska high school students carry knives that are used in the wilderness and at home.

Trying to be topical has its limits. Why not a COVID-19 theme?