Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for September 04, 2020

We call them s**t hawks

I live in an area that has a fair amount of rain each year. But I only carry an umbrella during sunny days. A few people have question this. Umbrella means – little bit of shadow. Why would I want shade/shadow on a rainy… overcast day?

Mel Brooks’ remake of The Birds

Remember those ads with the seagulls?

“But the umbrella is only big enough for one of us”.

“Fork it over, pal”.

Those birds think his beard is nest material.

When they see us coming

The birdies all try an’ hide

But they still go for peanuts

When coated with cyanide

We use a different 4-letter word other than “toll”.

Whatever the conventional ideas are, birds have little control over their bowels, except that they always poop just before they take off. I’ve seen it many times while bird watching off my deck. The single exception is actually seagulls. They not only can sh*t on demand, they can aim it sideways.

There’s a peregrine falcon family in my hometown (we now live about 10 miles west of there) that tolls the bells for the pigeons. In addition to the pigeon poop on the downtown sidewalks there’s pigeon parts everywhere.

They have the drop on him.

I thought I heard the dinner bell.

Modify the GEICO ad, “Fire at Wiley!”

Aaand THAT’s why I wear a hat.

I was going to comment that the prophet should be wearing a mask, then wondered how he could fit a mask over that beard.

The pigeons are ensuring that physical distancing takes place with the sign holder.

I’ll be walking down the sidewalk, see someone standing in the middle of bird droppings, tell them they may want to move, get told off, and half a block later hear them screaming at the birds.

Thank goodness monkeys don’t fly!

Pigeons are street smart doves!

Pure bread doves are mamby pamby snowflakes,

they wouldn’t be able to survive on the street!!!

Reminds me of a joke from an old “Burns and Allen” radio show. A guy invented something that looks like an umbrella, but isn’t, for those days when it looks like it is going to rain but doesn’t.

Looks like another Trump parade up there…

Papa is not amused.

This is a comic for a Monday….

“Toll.” I’m sure we can come up with a more apt verb…

There’s our pigeon.

Talk about a sh*tstorm.

“Toll”. So, that’s what they call it.

A bird of a feather poops together.

bell pigeons

There’s a Superman comic from the 80s where he visits New York for the first time. The tourists, of course, are astonished, but the New Yorkers take it in stride. And this exchange will be burned into my memory forever:

“Look! Up in the sky!”“Nah. Da pigeons just loves it when ya does that!”