Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 04, 2021

Slow torture is more of a nuisance, not an emergency.

“9-1-1; what’s your emergency?”

“I’m all alone here. Could you bring me a woman and a pizza?”

Good for you that they didn’t mistreat you.

“Help, I’m a rock…”

Would you like for us to send some nice swat officers with pepper spray over?

If you REALLY want attention and some company, no matter how rough, just call 911 and say you have a prowler. Then in a few minutes call them back and tell them there’s no need to hurry any more, because he’s dead. They’ll be there in well less than half the time they estimated for a prowler.

I saved money on a Christmas tree this year — I just stood in the window with my arms outstretched and a candle on my head.

Nooooo, the lockdown’s going fiiiiiiine.

Calling 9-1-1, shouldn’t that be “Boop-beep-beep”?

Rat we thought you had a real emergency … like out of BEER ! … Croc Power !

Personally, I’d rather be in than out.

DON’T DO THAT !!!!

wouldn’t it be “boop beep beep” since you are hitting the 9 and then two one keys?

I don’t feel trapped….never went out much anyway

Wait what? So this whole pandemic thing wasn’t an emergency? We’ve been bamboozled all along!

I guess it all depends on the way you look at it.

I wonder how come Rat hasn’t been blacklisted by the local emergency response services as a proclaimed (nuisance) offender!

It’s an emergency. The government and news agencies are lying.

Help, I am stupid!

He’s just now realizing he’s trapped! RATS!

Just STOP

What’s so bad about staying indoors?

I think a global pandemic, especially now, is more than an emergency.

I’m not trapped at home, and not restricted as to where I can go (to a point)

I’d call 911 but I don’t know their number.

It is one that many can’s deal with and it is a 911 call for help…..

I wonder how many calls like that 911 has actually had to handle? (I think the answer would depress me)

With a prefix like 919-xxx-yyyy there are a lot of mistaken calls to 911.

Not so funny to people with dementia…

Ah, Covid claustrophobia

I thought there’d be a vaccine by now.

Shouldn’t it have been “boop beep beep” since the 1s would make the same sound? C’mon, Pastis, you’re better than thi- Oh, wait.

I am, I said, to no one there…….at least Rat has Pig.

Try telling the governor that.

Remember to thank the Stable Genius.

It’s not an emergency until someone says it’s an emergency, is that the message here?

For us it is

Suzie Cream cheese? What’s got into you?

YouTube has a whole bunch more of these stupid 911 calls. Fox News swears some are from our Lame Duck POTUS. The quack.

Have a beer, Rat. Put on your mask and take a stroll around the block. Then get back in and go beddy-bye. Problem solved….

I work in a 911 center. This is hilarious

Well, let me tell you, escaping your house to go work in a hospital during a pandemic for 40-hours-per-week ain’t no barrel of monkeys. It sucks. And no, I haven’t been vaccinated yet.

It’s been going on for at least 10 months. No, Stephan, it’s not an emergency. Nor is it new. Nor is it funny.

‘Help, I’m a rat!’I’m sure that will get him some company.

911, what’s your emergency? “my fav show ended” no bye

So covid wasn’t an emergency?