Gil Thorp by Henry Barajas and Rachel Merrill for March 04, 2021

Gosh, “Contessa,” how shocking! Doesn’t he understand the high school social compact where loser geeks like him aren’t supposed to even fantasize about going out with tall hot athletes like yourself, no matter how many days you flirted with him? The nerve!

Why is she in a hurry to hit the locker room? Hmm….

What a user — Tessie got what she wanted from Vic and is now blowing him off. Why not put him in the friend zone?

Don’t you worry Contessa, after yesterday’s strip it would appear that Vic’s got a brand new bag

P1 Let’s hit the locker room, the showers are steaming and the loofahs are all soaped up!

P2 You had me at RaMEEEEEEERez, will you marry me?

P3 Little does Tessi know that Vic isn’t coming over to ask her out, rather he is going out of his way to gloat about his new, mature squeeze who just won his wiener giveaway for a year in-game promotion

P4 Tessi! Your step-mom invited me to spend spring break week with you and your family!

P1, Funny, you never hear anyone on the boy’s team say that.

P2, Tessi’s armpit wants to avoid Vic.

P3, He scored your stepmom instead, Tessi. Who’s your daddy?

After two, “Sorry, I’m doing my hair this weekend,” I usually took the hint. You can take the hint or she can take out a restraining order.

Day 89 of Moon Held Hostage. Vito from Goshen offers a teaser play on which Milford ‘star’ shows up first: The Moonman, Coach K or Mimi. (with or without Pedro)

P4- 3..2…1. Before Susan Olsen can have her question answered or CK can interject her witticism, Tessi shares these sagely lyrics.

https://youtu.be/b0l3QWUXVho

In all reality , Yikes let’s get out of here Tessi and hide out at the Bucket . Good idea ,Vic will never think to go there .

P 2: “…I’m so glad that you finally left that driving range…”

P 2.5: “….that’s ok….at the rate he walks, we’ll be showered and on our way home by the time he gets here..”

Coaches Held Hostage: Mimi, Day 43; Kaz, Day 33.

Vic is repeatedly screaming his new pronunciation of “Contessa” at his next and last game, as the hands-on moms drag him off the court to a wild ovation from the fist-pump crowd and sign man. A hero for our time.

Is CK 13?? Is she talking to Becca?? If so, that’s some weak snark. Still can’t figure out P2. Or P3 or P1

(yawn) sorry, this arc leaves me wondering why I am bothering to even read the strip

I have to unfollow this sketchy version of a slippery slope opera, since it’s starting to make ‘Love it or List it’ appear to be interesting.

You know, after a second look, the faraway gaze in fangirl’s eye and the weird hand-holding fixation as she swoons over Becca Rameeeeeerez is really starting to freak me out. Maybe she wants to know how she can get a mustache like that.

Gee, girls do stuff like that?

Hey, Vic’s finally getting some self-esteem from his new gig – we can’t have THAT!

So, will everybody shun Tessie the Tease? Will CK orchestrate a proper humiliation as payback for her being mean to the nicest guy in school? Suddenly I’m invested in this storyline!

The Contessa has high standards- what’s the problem with that? The problem is, no playdowns given our storyline here.

P1 – I’m pretty sure that Milford has not lost a game that Vic has announced. Boys and girls. If they can find a way for him to PA on the road, two State Titles coming up!

P2 – Hey, is that the lady that was giving Vic a massage yesterday? (Same purple outfit.) She looks a lot younger out of the stands.

P3 – Well you can’t blame Tessi for being caught off guard. I mean, all she did was flirtingly touch him, come up to him at random times during the day and compliment him, shove her chest in his face while he’s sitting down. What guy would think she was interested in him just from that?

And speaking of interest, can I interest you in a portion of Mopped Up Thorp? https://moppedupthorp.wordpress.com/