Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 23, 2021

He may get the job if it’s for a shaving cream tester.

Is that his way of saying “In the crapper”?

Hoping that all this Covid mess will end, on my way to what has been my dream since I was 18 (now I’m 63): crossing the USA from coast to coast on the trail of Kerouac.

got that right, Rat (good try, Pig)

I hope I will still see myself in the bathroom mirror in five years.

At my last job interview, which was odd in several ways, but that’s another story, I was asked this one. I said the first thing that popped into my head: “I’ll be retired by then.” (I worked there for one day short of 1 year, and then I did in fact quit… and am retired).

I’m always tempted to say “Queen of my own island”.

If I get hired, and the workplace jibes with the rumours I’ve been hearing, crazed lone gunman?

Anywhere but here, any time but now, anything but this!

Maybe the literalati can helps Pig get a literalary job.

The questionnaire does provide a reflection of Pig’s thoughts

… as the star character in the greatest comic ever.

Pig is too logical to be in Upper Management!

A reflective personality.

No reflection on his personality though!

Had that question, told the interviewer that because of the incredible changes in software and hardware, that is an impossible question to answer!

got the job 2 days later!

Well I don’t know where I’ll be until I get my crystal Ball repaired and retuned ;-)

Being a mirror tester is a job I really see myself doing.

Honest answers, though…and totally believable coming from Pig!

But it is important to make them laugh. The job questionnaire read, “Do you have any physical limitations?” So I paraphrased the original Superman opening, “I am slower than a speeding bullet, less powerful than a locomotive, and cannot leap tall buildings in a single bound!” On my first day, my supervisor said, “I didn’t know we were hiring.”

First time I met Richard Notebaert he said Ameritech’s Chairman and CEO and he was right.

God, how I I used to hate that inane question during job interviews. You have to come up with some BS answer. Meanwhile, in my head I’m thinking “I hope to have won the lottery so I don’t have to work at all!”

He’s not wrong.

I was asked that question in an interview and replied ‘I see myself in your job.’ I didn’t get the job. Too much of a threat I guess.

This is not a good start

Bad luck if he breaks it.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? A retired lottery winner

“The job I’ll be doing in five years involves technology that doesn’t exist today.”

It’s a dumb question.

If my phone is turned off I can see myself in it. So technically I can see myself in five years at an executive office in their company, or at Hawaii.

PIG isn’t exactly an aggressive job seeker….

I see myself a step closer to being the animator I dream of becoming.

Now what is the answer the job people really want?

A joke that I love:

“Where do you see yourself in five years?”

“I think my greatest weakness is that I don’t listen.”

At another company making a lot more money!

I guess they’re expecting people to lie on the application if they won’t accept an honest answer.

Asking other people that question…

so… honesty is not always the best policy (or, taking things too literally is not a good idea)

I’ve heard that question so many times before and even I know not to take it that literally.

I’m still not convinced that guy in the mirror is actually me. I’m pretty sure I’m much more handsome.

Answering questions about myself is hard. So I usually say something in the realms of joking.

Hmmm. I guess I should have taken that fortune telling class in college.

On disability from a work related injury.

;)

With any luck, still alive.

barroom mirror

i’m retiring in august 2022. when i go my self-evaluation and i’m asked to put down goals, it’s tough. make it till august 2022 – how do you put that down using “words that work” ?!

Five years ago, did anyone see themselves in the middle of a pandemic ? (Other than those who worked on the plans that were ignored and/or discarded.)

Some employers actually like ironic honesty. Stay strong, Pig….

Other possible answers: “Hopefully alive” “Working here” “In every reflection I cross by” =3

I’d hire him. I like literalists.

HAHAHAHA