Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 30, 2021

Certainty: One day you will be dead.

Certainty: Congress will raise taxes. Your home state will raise taxes and fees.

Pig will regret that he would have but one life to give for his country as bacon. But the White House and congressional leaders would not have a second thought devouring the sacrifice.

oh, thank you, Rat, for your help

Old joke:

“Only a fool is absolutely positive.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m absolutely positive!”

The only certainty in life is that life is uncertain. And that you’ll die.

And so goes the philosophy of a rat.

I’ll read Friday’s strip here later, but …

Pastis appeared on Thursday’s Rabbits Against Magic strip here on GoComics.

https://www.gocomics.com/rabbitsagainstmagic/2021/07/29?ct=v&cti=2065795

You’re looking for Earl Grey. That’s a certain tea.

“How much to step into an open manhole?”

“Just the cover charge.”

“…Well, drop in anytime.”

“Sewer! Ay, at’sa good one, hey, boss?”

Advice from an Optimist to a Pessimist:

Advise: “You should have a positive attitude.”

Response: “I do have a positive attitude.”

… “I’m positive everything will go wrong.”

The one constant is change

I’m certain that Pastis will be making a pun within a week.

Pig I am certain you will continue to take your Debbie Downer pills ;-)

Sure, Rat.

“I don’t want knowledge. I want certainty.” – David Bowie (from the album Earthling)

If it wasn’t for the Venetians, It would be curtains for all of us!

Certainty: Rat only has four to five years to live and Pig only has 15-24.

It’s either the high road or the low road….

It’s why some of us have jobs. OCM.

Well played, Stephan. Well played.

“There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist – except an old optimist.” – Mark Twain

Politicians and religious leaders have been sell “certainty” for ages. They’re GOATs. Grifters Of All Time.

You want certainty? There’s lots of religions that are peddling absolute certainty about that which is completely unknowable. Pig seems as though he’d be a likely victim. If some stranger, especially a pair of them, is knocking on his door, Pig had best better not open that door.

Rat seems pretty certain about that.

Death and taxes…. two certainties…

Optimism is seeking order out of chaos. Pessimism is seeking chaos out of order. Yin and Yang. The correct answer to the question “is the glass half full or half empty” is “Yes.”

Nope. My body will cease to function, but I won’t be dead. Just sayin’.

You’re getting me confused here Rat!

Death and taxes.

One thing I am certain about: life’s unpredictability.

It’s really wonderful, Stephan. The timing is so good, my brain wants to let out a squeal as I try to come up with fitting praise.

Buddhism?

Kind of like: There are no absolutes?

Sorry Pig, you were put on this world to entertain us. If you did the same thing over and over, we would get bored. That much is certain.

The only constant is change.

Wait there’s more good news. 100% certainty you will die!

“The only things in Life that is certain are Deaths and Taxes” Benjamin Franklin

Death & taxes

This is like how the only thing permanent is impermanence; right, Rat?

Hope this turns out better than when Data created an offspring who later “died” of emotional overload or something…

Forget your world-famous physicist; this is the Cartoon-Boy Uncertainty Principle….

‘Nothing is certain but death and taxes.’ I hear you can build a life philosophy on that.

He’s not certain, he said he’s not sure RME

100th comment!