Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for October 15, 2021

Everything you order shows up DOA.

They deliver. But either you cannot open the box, or what’s in it bursts into flame, or it’s broken. Or it’s mislabeled. And it’s ALWAYS an ugly color in the wrong size.

And if you ordered it, you have to use it!

Founded by Jeff Beelzosbub.

Jeff’s office is somewhat lower, in the ninth circle.

“And that’s the .HL of it.

That’s what it’s like to work for them.

Ask the workers. Almost all of Amazon is there.

Amazon…WE DELIVER ANYWHERE!

With a flame colored smile…

They’re EEEVVVERYWHERRRRE!

It’s gonna be HL paying for all of these shipments.

Got his girlfriend a hot gift.

It’s where porch pirates go. The packages all have ‘unpleasant’ surprises in them. If they are lift-able at all.

Shouldn’t that Amazon “smile” be the other way around?

Don’t be so quick to praise. Remember where you are. Every package has damaged or wrong contents and there are no (cue the scary music) Kohl’s stores for returns…

Looks like they’re in California.

Remember back in the day when we all hated Walmart? (I still do actually)

I think that package contains a bloodthirsty monster that will kill you soon. This IS Hell, after all.

I thought I’d double-check: in the real world, .hl is Unassigned. That’s either smart research or a good bit of luck.

Soon to start outer space delivery too. The final frontier.

Sales Rank #1 – Ice water.

Starbucks, iced.

Probably dropping off that hot plate he ordered.