Phoebe and Her Unicorn by Dana Simpson for November 12, 2021

But wear a helmet and CHEATERS ALWAYS PROSPER!

Why is Phoebe being punished for Marigold’s cheating? She wasn’t told that the soda would be for her.

Careful Phoebe. That doesn’t have a specific brand label, and it was created via magic…meaning something funny may happen if you drink it.

GENERIC Soda pop. Blech.

But what if it’s a soda you don’t like to drink (Coca Cola, Dr. Pepper, and apple Fanta in my case)?

Sort of like crime never pays!

It’s SODA, Phoebe. Weren’t you listening to your unicorn?

Is Marigold trying to kill Phoebe? Getting hit in the head with a full can of soda would really hurt.

Because WINNERS DON’T DO DRUGS. jk drugs are based

How is this different from normal Unicorn magic, which Marigold doesn’t seem to consider cheating?

I thought it was, “Cheetahs never win.” I assumed it was because they are fragile speedsters. They may be able to catch the antelope, but they often have to surrender it to tougher predators, like Hyenas.

I don’t think Phoebe will drink that soda; she’ll save it for her father instead. It does have his name on it.

Phoebe: You wanna see a trick, Marigold? First, I’m gonna shake up this can real good and now watch what happens when I open the can while I have the opening pointed at you.

Nothing is free… you have to pay for it one way or another.

So how far did it fall, and how fast was it going?

According to maxim 31 (Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries), only cheaters prosper.

And felines don’t sweat; therefore, cheetahs never perspire.

Let that soda sit awhile before opening it, Pheebs.

maybe u will get lucky