That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for January 18, 2022

“The judge said to me:

Well, the world needs ditch diggers, too

And I’ve been at it for 40 years.”

/// Workers digging a long drainpipe ditch

grow exhausted, but never grow rich.

So, one “faunaphile” loafer

trained a huge pale gray gopher

to help dig, (but the foreman might snitch).

/// Gopher’s head pokes up out of the soil

so the foreman, their scheme, will not spoil.

Amid sections of pipe,

(the ceramic clay type),

it will hide, then return to its toil.

“I would rather be laying pipe another way, if ya know what I mean.”

Hurry up – we need to have this sewer operation before the Trump rally comes to town.

Can you give me a hand? I think I lost my contact somewhere in here.

Farmers digging a moat to keep the varmints out of their field.

Wilson Kipketer was so fast, they had to fill in the rut in the track after every meet.

I tell you Hal, your life is in a rut but you just won’t listen!

“Don’t just stand there, grab a shovel….”

Edvard mein freund. Das klarenlage ist da druben.

/// Skills perfected by ditch diggers now,

will have uses they may disavow.

When there’s no place to hide,

dig a hole deep and wide;

each foot soldier will need to know how.

/// Years from now in a Great Worldwide War,

men will fight as they haven’t before.

Trenches deep will have spanned

fields renamed “no man’s land.”

Foes intrenched, so a “win” none can score.

/// As the men hunker down in the dirt,

former atheists quickly convert.

Crouching low, on their knees,

sick with “trench mouth” disease,

they’ll say prayers that they won’t be hurt.

When I younger I laid a lot of pipe.

That was vitrified clay sewer pipe. I worked in construction. What were you thinking?

“Well,joe,all you need to know is that it runs downhill. “

Would anyone really hang this picture on their wall?

“The artist said to stand in this exact spot. He said the background made me look “distinguished”.

Ed Norton telling coworker how he is the one who really sends Alice to the moon.

This reminds me of the famous Swiss “spaghetti harvest” April’s Fool broadcast in 1957. And yes, I saw it when it happened. And as far as I’m concerned, it wasn’t that long ago. If you are interested, search for “spaghetti-tree hoax” on Wikipedia.

Hans and Lars endlessly debated whether this fiber-optic cable thing would ever catch on.

Johann’s first day with his new metal detector.

First attempt at the Panama Canal. “Dig it deep enough, South America will float away, and it will be wider than you need!”

“So what do you think of my cool ecology cap? Think of all the carbon I’m sequestering.”

“It took you long enough to remember where you buried the turkey – now get to work and find the trimmings!”

“Wait, Esbjerg is that way?! I wish you’d told me that fifteen kilometers ago!”

That’s fine and all, but what I said is this, ‘Your dog Hank needs to settle down with a nice bitch’.

Clay tile pipe – someone will be suffering from a collapsed sewer line and the resulting unflushable toilets before too long.

Yes, you can take a leak down here…but that’s all!

The rain in Spain flows mainly through the drain.

“There’s only two of us, Bob. Why such a big latrine? Is your stomach acting up again?”

Drain Diggers: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Dr%C3%A6nr%C3%B8rsgravere.jpg 

(best viewed using Google Chrome, which can automatically translate most webpages if necessary) has info and links that point to more info about this painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

http://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2022/01/masterpiece-2971.html 

I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. So far 2 works, by this artist, have been used here. 

https://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2021/11/28?comments=visible 

has the prior (I’ve added another artist info here link under my original blog entry comment pointed to there).

The Italian press had paparazzi / And Italian actors had lazzi / And though pizza’s fist-rate / and lasagna is great / Using ziti for pipes? They’re all pazzi!

/// Laurits Ring only paints what he sees.

He won’t change things to flatter or please.

And so, if it appears

that you have “rabbit ears,”

do not blame Laurits Ring, blame the trees.

if this is a subway, it’s a bit shallow.

all this is for is to bury your sideburns

Yes … I was low bidder to build the supercollider. Why do you ask?

Unimaginable treasures lie hidden

And arcane wisdom forbidden

archaeologists say

That great men passed this way

if you can’t stand the heat, ditch the midden.

“Dammit Seamus, I still can’t find that farthing I dropped..”

Paul, recently promoted to assistant supervisor, was inspecting the work of their only employee, Lars, before the arrival of the management team which included: the Personnel manager, Project manager, Health and Safety manager, Business Relationship Manager, Division Chair, Vice Chair, CEO, COO, CTO, and the entire board of directors of the government contacting firm of “Dewey, Cheatim, and Howe”

It’s a dirty job, so Mike Rowe had to do it.

“I KNOW Yorick’s buried somewhere around here. Carry on digging”