Herman by Jim Unger for May 22, 2022

My dad loves golf. He tried to get me to take it up by teaching me all these “rules”. He should have gotten me to love the game first.

Miniature golf, snow golf and I guess yoga golf now

If this works, by the next tournament every golfer will be doing it.

No matter if playing golf, sweeping the floor or getting run down while walking with my umbrella – I always look like this…

[Spins] “Right foot blue.”

Contortionist Golf.

Golf: The sport that I will never understand how it became a sport.

Same as the game of life, you gotta live it before you can begin to respect the rules.

Golf is definitely not a game for pacifists.

The “minor adjustments” one does to hit it better seem endless sometimes.

I learned from my very short foray into golf to only adjust one thing at a time.

….time to go back to the Club house for lobster salad served with replacement theory rants a’la mode. Mousketeer DeSantis the best Gov never.

I tried golf for a brief while. I can understand how some people would like playing it. It does get one outdoors and if you walk and carry your own clubs, it’s decent exercise.

However, I found out two things about golf: people that do it (1) have money and (2) don’t own a home that requires things like mowing the lawn or cleaning the gutters or painting anything.

I find it exceptionally boring to watch on TV and I’ve heard that relatively few people do watch it, but those that do buy the products advertized.

My theory on sports: the bigger the ball and the higher the score, the more popular the game.

Basketball and football fit this description.

Soccer has a big ball, but the scores are low.

Baseball has a middle-sized ball and the scores are moderate.

Golf has a tiny ball and the objective is to have a low score.

Hockey has low scores and doesn’t even use a ball, but like golf, it uses sticks.

In advance…F. O. R. E. !

And, with practice, your post swing swearing will become more natural. We all talk a good game.

Positive Impact Golf by Brian Sparks for those who would just like to play the game AND not kill your body trying

My mother-in-law tried to “teach” me once. This is exactly how I felt. No way I could ever hit that ball standing the way she wanted me to.

lmao yep

Reminds me of an episode of ‘The Honeymooners’ in which Ralph tries to learn the game to play with his boss. That episode featured one of the funniest lines ever spoken on TV when the two of them are trying to figure out what is meant by the instruction book’s advice to ‘address the ball’. Ed thinks he has it and says:

“Step up, plant your feet firmly and….. Hello Ball!”.

I am no longer allowed to play that game.

I think it had to do with my score, I couldn’t make as many points as everyone else.

I don’t know why everyone had such an attitude and all.

I mean, they all would finish with really good scores, like 82, 79 or even 90 something. I just couldn’t get any higher than 65 or 64, but once I got a 70. But I just never could get up to their level.

I guess that’s why they don’t let me play anymore, I was holding them back, I guess.

It looks like he is ready for a game of “Twister”

Timothy Gallwey wrote several books including The Inner Game of Golf. He also wrote a book on tennis.

He was a teaching pro in tennis. He decided to write down everything he had to do to hit a good forehand. He stopped after the 40th line.

If he hits anything, it’s going to be you!!!

Kinda reminds me of the animated cartoons where the golfer twists himself in place, then lets go and really whacks the ball!

You don’t have to be good at Golf to make money at it, just be a good salesman.