Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for November 06, 2022

in my family, everyone doesn’t listen to anything (and 90% of them are women)

I’m a man, and I approve today’s joke.

I don’t use Alexa. A hockey puck or an unopened can of gooshyfood will do the same job.

Headin’ over to Amazon now…

The name of the device will be called “Perplexa,” and it will give rambling unintelligible answers to insoluble problems, in the manner of a continually squabbling couple named Phil and Sophie.

Don’t tell Alex to do anything, you’d just be wasting your time.

sorry, were you saying something…?

It’s not like I don’t listen to anything my wife says, I just can’t listen to EVEYTHING she says. My bandwidth is limited and my brain suffers buffering. By the time I process what she just said, she’s two stories ahead.

Slective listening is an art men learn. It keeps the divorce and murder rates down.

Whether I listen or not, I’m still wrong or in trouble or incapable of understanding.

I have to say so many things 2 or 3 times because he is hard of hearing, but then he forgets it in a few minutes because he has dementia. I might be better off talking to Alexa.

We don’t listen to or retain anything unless we consider it important, That eliminates 95% of the mental work.

“Alex! Show me the difference between laden and unladen swallows.”

[SNORE]

“Alex! European swallows!”

[ZZZZ]

“Alex! Show me pictures of Scarlett Johansson.”

“O-Kay!”

Well, apparently there are some things they’ll listen to… ☺

What?

My wife walks around talking to herself! After asking, “What did you say?” so often she complains “I’m not talking to you!” Then the next thing I hear her complain weren’t you listing to me.

And I guess it’s a Smart Alex…

For those who do not believe in evolution, I can prove that it is a fact. When a man gets married he hears everything his little love dove says. Within a couple of years he has evolved to the point that the frequency of the female voice can be tuned out for self preservation.

Hearing aids prove to be assets sometimes.

Listening and hearing are not the same thing.

Or like my husband who is hard of hearing … he hears it wrong!

That is my husband at times and passed that gene to our Kids

in my family, it’s not that they aren’t listening, they just can’t hear you. (one of 12 kids. its a lot)