Pickles by Brian Crane for August 28, 2022

Why not go to Opal’s salon in order to have it done, Earl?

What can I slather on with a trowel to make me look younger?

I have never met a “cover up” that actually looks like healthy skin. Or even my aged skin. It looks like a spot of make up. True, that’s less obvious at a little distance.

You should ask Brian if you want a stronger jawline.

Opal made a mess of that

I yam what I yam and that’s all that I yam.

We married for better for worse. Don’t know what she thinks after all these decades, but I only remember better.

She’s not a miracle worker, Earl.

The rerun stations I tend to watch, a good proportion of the TV ads are for products to hide aging skin, or improve muscle strength, or cheap life/ health/wealth insurance. They surely know their target audience — senior citizens insecure about their health and wealth status. Clearasil should branch out into a product for Seniors. Or has it already? “Gerisil”?

Geritol and the gym Earl.

As long as (Just make sure) it’s cover-up and not makeup.

Even a plastic surgeon could not help much Earl!

Old men don’t get acne/pimples.

Sandpaper and wood putty.

Once started, hard to stop.

Earl goes Metro

Earl, the best thing you can do about a weak jawline is grow a beard. It will also cover up myriad other facial problems.

I’m standing in line at the pharmacy to pick up a prescription, and a middle-aged fellow gets to the front of the line and as a joke, asks the clerk for “something that will make me good-looking and attractive to the opposite sex”…the clerk – barely breaking stride – says – “the liquor store is next door”. All of us waiting just about spit up breakfast, laughing!!!

You opened a real can of worms Opal.

Just put a paper bag over his head.

Don’t do it Earl, that’s how Tammy Faye Baker got started.

Opal has created a monster….

Don’t get Earl started….oh, too,late!

Good job Opal…….. you created a MONSTER..!!

“No.”

Better than my dear grandmother in the 1940s spitting on her handkerchief to do the job.

it’s a slippery slope …

In my 30s I tried that new, Botox thing. It took away the 11s but instead of feeling beautiful, I immediately saw my 2nd biggest facial flaw that I’d never noticed before. I finally understood how the path to the ridiculous cosmetic surgery look was paved. I stopped looking at myself in the mirror and saved my money.

Sorry Earl, Opal already has a full time job cooking and taking care of the house.

Women makeup to make a man younger.Reminds me of husband and I, he has liver spot on side of his face sooner then I and I have one on my left side, I do not like it. My sister also has one she is two years younger. Just a brief update. I went back for another x-ray, the Orthopedic stated I could step it up with slight pressure, so I asked was granted home therapy, that has started. The bone that fracture still there and the bone that broke still there that takes longer to heal especially cannot have surgery or cast. The home therapy assigned me exercise and changed how I use a walker, I want to do more. My left knee not happy about 8 steps especially going up 8 steps. I go back in November for another x-ray, my question do I go in a wheel chair or use a walker? I know I cannot go long distance for walking. I am really trying. Also PT said for restroom break husband just spot me if I need help, that I am noticing on standing. Making slow progress. State fair is coming in a couple of weeks with Monday a $1 day, I will be wanting to go but realistic I cannot, I have to use a wheel chair.

(forehead slap)

Some Benadryl can help.

“Ethel, get the belt sander!”

Opal: Let me get a can of that hair loss concealer, and we’ll start from there!!