That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for August 26, 2022

“You get one leg, I’ll get the other and dinner will be served!”

/// Salome, the Princess of Judea,

implemented a far-out idea.

Tigers pacing the floor.

Elephantine decor.

She brought India to Cæsarea.

“There once was a girl from Niger, who rode on the back of a tiger…”

That one! That’s the one that was sharpening his claws on my furniture. Turn him into a rug!

Karen had read that tiger peni s was an aphrodisiac, so she always kept some fresh ones around near her bed chamber.

“I’m bored with these tigers, let’s swap them out with leopards.”

I Tawt I Taw a Puddy Tat! IDID! IDID see a Puddy TaT!

Lie down you naughty little kitty or I’ll sic the elephant on you and I do mean ‘On You’.

It’s 3 a.m., and Salome slips down to the kitchen for a snack of..Sugar Frosted Flakes. “They’re GRRRREAT !”

This was Marge. Just before her name was changed to Lefty.

It’s a truly unique décor -/

One that’s never been seen here before/

With a feline motif/

That beggars belief../

But the odor is hard to ignore..

With those cats at the foot of the stairs and my long flowy gowns…I want a handrail right here. Now get it done or you’re kitty kibble!

When you’re buying the stairway to heaven and you don’t want anyone to follow.

It this game you get both the lady AND the tiger(s).

John McLand had a pet lioness at his military armor museum in Anderson, Indiana.

Yes, Lady Anna was a queen, but only in a land of 12 citizens, so she often found herself ordering around her exotic pets as if they were peasants. “You there, kitty, serve me so chicken pot pie!”

Honey, you did feed them this morning, didn’t you?

The first thing you learn in Salome’s home is to walk down the middle of the staircase!

Beatrix learns the hard way to never play the “pull my finger” joke on a tiger.

“Honey, the good news is that I see where you dropped your contact lens……..”

The original catwalk.

“I bannish you to Pooh Corner.”

“Is there not a better way of testing the strength of our Austrian-forged steel chains?”

Mike Tyson’s got nothing on me!

Salome and the Tigers: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"Category:Paintings by Rudolf Ernst" site=commons.wikimedia.org

(syntax supported by the Google, Yahoo, Bing, DuckDuckgo, Ecosia, and Yandex search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first Category: found, and once there find the text string Tigers, and click its link for info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size, oil on panel painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2984 (August 26, 2022) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. So far 5 works by this artist have been used here (6 times total, including 1 repeat). The April 1, 2015, strip has the prior (the 16 hyperlinks in my comment there have been deactivated, and the line breaks removed, but perhaps the text remains informative).

“I asked you not to get me lap cats! There’ll be fur everywhere!”

If they lengthen those chains just a bit/ she will find herself deep in the —it/She will hear the beasts roar/ as she heads for the door/ but let’s face it, she’ll never make it.

Salome wanted some tiger-skin rugs, but the SPCA said she had to wait them out.

Scheherazade Jones was once upon a time a beautiful chorus line dancer in Las Vegas. She was now the chief Harem Mistress of Sheikh Omar in the oil-rich Kingdom of Baraby. Although of common birth, she took naturally to the imperious tone of royal personages. And she was very sensitive regarding her Humble origins.

So it was that having heard that stableboy Esso made light of her, in a fury she strode to the front entrance of the harem quarters and pointed at one of tigers chained there, and commanded,

“Hold that tiger!” Esso was brought forth in chains to be thrown into the cold, dank oubliette beneath her boudoir, piteously weeping for mercy. And Scheherazade, cruel female, sneered, “And put that tiger in his tank!” And so it was done, the top opening then sealed.

For approximately One-Thousand-And-One seconds the screams were heard from within. “Let that be a warning to those who would mock my good nature,” the former Ms. Jones proclaimed.

.

Rex Marshall for Esso

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kB5ROD4CGG8

“Hold That Tiger,” Jelly Roll Morton —

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=b-UWc2pj6hw

Esso commercial

https://www.woorillacaught.com/put-a-tiger-in-your-tank/

the king, as a surprise changed the Cains to longer so that queen harpy was to do herself in.and he could marry lady Chadbourn.

why, yes, you can pat my pu.ssy…

You think the puddle is bad? You should have seen it when she went through the phase of having real elephants there, not just statues …