Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 21, 2022

I want shoes that will do the running while I stay home.

I want one of those stationary bikes.

Helmet Head, what a terrific idea. you’ll make millions

If I connect my Fitbit to a stationary bike pedaling itself, do I lose weight?

always a reason to argue, rarely a pause for peace…

Be quiet I already patient that Idea

I paid a neighborhood kid to take my iPhone for a three-mile walk every day.I reduced the number of annoying phone calls and I made my steps goal all summer. Win-win.

I’ve SEEN those stationary bikes. They’re good for range of motion after surgery…

If you’re riding it to work, it’s a good thing. Still had to pedal, that poor little motor couldn’t handle them by itself.

Hey, thanks Jef! An idea whose time has come.

Give cyclist Jef a good workout. Add a Denver boot to his ride.

Better idea, give Neighbor Bob a ride in an electric car with an ejection seat!

On the serious side, those e-bikes are extremely popular with less financially stable people in our city. Much cheaper than a car but much easier and faster than a bike for getting to work. If I had somewhere to store one, I’d consider getting one for myself.

Most cyclists I know have no issues with E-bikes because they are getting more people on bikes and enabling those who normally couldn’t ride because of health reasons to be able to enjoy the pastime.

As a “Pedal Assist” rider on the local bike paths I have rec’d unkind comments from the padded bottom, sleek suited, pedal locked shoes, etc. Riders (who speed down the trail 3-4 abreast) I do pedal with my challenged knees & right hip. My top PA speed is set well below trail rules. Please be kind – one does not always know what possible challenges others are facing.

His arrogance is so so real with many of these alleged superior biker beings.

Hey, back off. I do so pedal my stationary bike!

You still have to pedal electric bikes. They are more of an assist so it does not take as much effort. It’s good for older people and others who don’t have the strength to go the distance or handle hills.

He’s a pig! He’s supposed to look that way! So quit body shaming him.

I can’t remember if Jef was shown actually on his bike, but then he wouldn’t actually be pedaling it.

Self-driving bikes? Those exist?

Don’t have a stationery bike. I write using a pen.

The Count wonders if it came with an extension cord. A real lone one.

yes, and Bob will use it twice and then it will become a coat and pants rack. I have a friend who bought an indoor trainer used it twice then didn’t use it for 3 years

My version of this is “electric? you mean like a wheelchair?” but I never actually say it.

I got my last stationery bike at Office Depot. After all, they sell stationery.

Hey bicyclist, long time no see!

Hmmm! Wonder what the Wise A$$ on the Hill would think about this?

I agree… just buy a scooter if you don’t want to pedal.

No need to pedal. Just pretend you’re going downhill.

My SIL and BIL bought electric bikes to replace their “old” mountain bikes. They claim they are helping to save the planet but we don’t see how replacing their own muscle energy with electric energy is saving anything but their legs.

Jef!

I saw him this morning slowing traffic on the narrow two-lane curvy road that leads out of my neighborhood…

Bicycle Jeff seems just a wee bit constipated (again).

I happen to enjoy pedaling on a bike, even though I’ve not ridden a bike in years.

When ever I see these riders I think, DUI. They are a stark contrast to the flocks of spandex clad “Jef’s” around here.

I love pedaling my bike back and forth to work. It gives me an hour of aerobic activity and cuts down on my carbon footprint. And I am one of those folks who is anti-leftist!

This guy deserves to be lanced with a strong arm.

Rat- you don’t seem fat. You are little though.

Actually, I’m on Bicyclist Jef’s side on this one.

Not AT his side, just to be clear, but on his side.

SHARE THE ROAD!!!!

Why is it you’re ALWAYS the “best” one of the day when it comes to these “responses,” huh?

I am not so vehement as Jef, but I do agree. Cycling is about seeing some countryside while getting a good workout. It’s about feeling a sense of accomplishment when you have finally mastered that nasty hill, not about wondering if your battery has enough charge to even get you home, because forget pedaling those behemoths. I don’t even have power meters or electronic head units, any of that. Spoils the experience if you are constantly watching data.

I agree with Jef also. People think they’re getting the benefits of bicycle with an electric one, but it really takes away the biggest benefits while leaving the same dangers.

I can understand Jeff’s rage.

That does sadly seem the way things are going.

Jef the Cyclist is Stephan Pastis’s parody version of fellow cartoonist Jef Mallett, who does the comic strip Frazz. A particular point of parody is that the characters in Frazz are always pointlessly pointing, much like the pointed reference to Jef the Cyclist here.

Guarantee Pastis’ wife is fat and he secretly resents her for it.

Don’t we all get like Jef the cyclist about our personal passions? Though if I get to be as bad as him, I am BEGGING to be kicked in the you know where by the likes of Rat.

Biker Jef needs to have his clock cleaned, I think….

He has a point

Electric bikes are either a really heavy bicycle or a really slow motorcycle.

E-bikes are an evolutionary aid for purging the human gene pool.