That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for October 07, 2022

I see Napoleon brought all of his paraphernalia – his eagle topped scepter so that people respect him as a ruler, his open-hand wand for slapping those people who just don’t listen, and the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch for blowing up the complete morons.

On second thought, Napoleon should have gotten a shorter scepter.

The Woman King

Kanye West’s beachwear collection modeled in Milan…

“Hey, I’m not Carol Burnett, I took the curtain rod out first.”

Josephine is hiding in here. Heh. Heh. Heh. [I didn’t know ermine itched this bad.]

It’s the new French fashion line suitable for both ladies and manly men.

It’s not too hard to determine/

(Although he is swaddled in ermine)/

The identification/

Of this Abomination/

Who (this time, at least) isn’t German..///

It’s Bonaparte- “dressed to the nines”/

France’s best product – after her wines/

And of course there’s their cheeses/

(There are hundreds of these)- as /

Everyone knows who dines ///

There’s “l’amour”, whose techniques they advance/

And fashion (the French made your pants)/

There’s a French contribution/

To a swift execution/

(‘Gainst the Guillotine, who has a chance ?)///

Napoleon, though, was Italian/

Somewhat short, but a real bedroom stallion/

His empire was brief/

His demise a relief/

But he wasn’t a tatterdemalion*!

*that’s a synonym for ragamuffin

What Do you mean No Zipper? You know how I feel about hiking up this garb when I gotta’ go!!!

Nuthin sets you squirmin’ like a vermin wearin’ ermine in the mor-or-ornin’…

Putin in drag?

/// Dressed up in the best France could afford,

he’s the Emperor, feared and adored.

Bonaparte’s at the height

of his power and might.

So, then, why does he look so dâmned bored?

If Time Magazine had been around during Napoleon’s reign, he might well have commissioned this portrait for display in his palace at Mar-a-Tuileries. A rumor thatijustmadeup has it that a current would-be Emperor wants his official Le Palais Blanc portrait done in this style.

He’s gonna need that walking stick to keep from tripping over that outfit he’s wearing.

Sure, Harold regretted losing the bet and having to pose for the picture. He just wished he didn’t look so stunning in the queen’s outfit.

Before the introduction of casual Friday

I wonder how many ermine made the supreme sacrifice for their emperor?

In fact, he was probably of average height. According to pre–metric system French measures, he was a diminutive 5′2.” But the French inch (pouce) of the time was 2.7 cm, while the Imperial inch was shorter, at 2.54 cm. British cartoonist James Gillray’s caricatural depictions of the French general were so popular and influential that at the end of his life Napoleon said that Gillray “did more than all the armies of Europe to bring me down.”

OK, so this guy looks more like Napoleon BornToParty.

“Look at all this cool stuff I won at the Topsfield Fair. A throne, The Holy Hand Grenade, a solid gold back scratcher, and the staff to find the location of The Ark of the Covenant”

Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, didn’t like the royal closet.

Pat the Monarch. Is it a king or a queen?

The stick’s for helping him stay upright. That’s like fifty pounds of clothing there.

Liberace about to bop the clown who screwed up the tuning on his piano a good one.

Napoleon was a drag Queen?

Sure, wearing this for my wedding is okay….but not for the honeymoon……..

Caught! coming out of his wife’s closet again.

What is that disembodies hand doing on the cushion?

Never mind the ermine – why does he have a badger sleeping on his head?

Did he borrow it from tRumpf?

Napoleon dressed for success/

And the ladies ((we’re told) all said “yes”/

He was “leading the league”/

Until “clothing fatigue”/

Did him in, and he had to undress.///

The Cape, which with ermine abounds/

Weighs in at a good 40 pounds/

‘Twould be dumped in a minute/

If, while you were in it,

You were being pursued by hounds..///

He chose simpler garments for war/

For in war many trousers get tore/

When to rest he was laid/

An outfit more staid/

Would encase him forevermore.

Don’t let it go to your head, prettyboy.

“Portrait of Napoleon Bonaparte”

My did he have tiny feet. Was all that warmongering overcompensating for something?

ya put yer right foot in, ya put yer right foot outya put yer right foot in and you shake it all about

Napoleon in Coronation Robes: 

Paste (including the quote marks) 

"File:Francois Gerard - Napoleon Ier en costume du Sacre.jpg" site=commons.wikimedia.org 

(syntax supported by the Google, Bing, Yahoo, Ecosia, and Yandex search engines) in the browser address bar (or search for it using one of those search engines) and choose the first File: found, and click its link for info (best viewed using Google Chrome, which can automatically translate most webpages as necessary) and links that point to more info about this painting. Other versions has strip coloration image.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (Ctrl- or right-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #3007 (October 7, 2022) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment, and using the dropdown menu (even larger if you trim what’s after .png from the URL). I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to info about this artist I used to point to here. So far, 2 works by him have been used here. The April 27, 2017, strip has the prior.

Napoleon always hated laundry day.

For a guy who was supposed to be a general in a republic, Nappy had pretentions.

Jenny Craig weight loss “before” picture. No finaglen … honest!

Say what you want, but Napolean did go to war with his troops. No bone spurs. No dropping MOAB’s thousands of miles away and congratulating himself. No assassinations of enemy leaders using drones.