Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for November 01, 2022

You can still win Powerball®.

Too many people use that same strategy pig!

For many people, real estate is not an option. How do you re-balance real estate?

Stocks, bonds, real estate . . . sounds like a dungeon. Maybe he can capture a rich guy and hold him for ransom.

First, acquire rich relative.

Start with Hope you even have a Rich Relative.

What the “hell” is a “innumerancy tax?!” And I am USING the “same” strategy, myself, man!!!!

Don’t take this personally.

Pig has a rich relative?

Just as long as you don’t help them along!

well that beats my retirement plan of commit a serious felony and get life imprisonment. Three squares a day and a roof over my head until i die.

I’ve got kin who think I’M the rich relative, but I don’t have anything. Jokes on them, just not too soon I hope.

My retirement plan is to die early in the Water Wars.

Live below your means.

I still haven’t put in my 401K.

Some plan, PIG! Mean while you live in limbo…

That was my plan until I figured out that I was the rich relative. And, I’m not rich. I’m just smarter and planned for retirement better than the losers on both sides of me and my husband. When I was in my mid twenties, I worked with a young woman who told me she didn’t need to save for anything because when her in-laws died, her husband would get their house and money. We lost touch a few years later and I’ve wondered over the years what happened to her.

That used to be my plan too but the inheritance didn’t come my way. Now I’m old and I am the rich relative. I hope people aren’t thinking poorly of me!

Well, that’s one option… not my preferred option, obviously.

…and the rich relative includes you in his/her will.

The easy stuff is supplanted by the hard stuff.

A billion doesn’t go as far as it use to. Keep cutting those coupons.

Don’t forget the 50% tax bite on lottery winnings.

And you’ll have 50 new relatives you never heard of before.

that was my plan… almost worked, but then W came along with the 2008 Great Recession and wiped half of it out

Ponzi Retirement Funds salesman.

“My retirement plan? I eat a little bit of cat food every day. That way, when I’m 80, it won’t be such a shock!”

My plan involves winning the 401Lottery.

Dream big, Pig. It could happen. Did to me. I’m not rich, but I think there’s enough to be comfortable in retirement.

Pig has a rich relative?

To heck with relatives; Goodwill can have my stuff and the ASPCA can have whatever financial assets are left after I bite the dust.

Pig plan? Rich relative?

No, on so many counts….

Just live like you were dying, then, a few years before you run out of money, start smoking and drinking and eat nothing but bacon.

How is that Pig and not Rat?