Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 27, 2023

You think you got it bad? All my money was in Silicon Valley Bank!

It may be a bit late, but how about “The April Blues”?

♫ Well, I’ve got me a tax form . . . and I don’t know what to do . . . ♫

If robots conquer the world, I want to own a few shares.

That’s the Blues Power.

♫ I’ve got the Goo – Goo – Google – Meta Blues ♫

Rat’s smokin’?

Biff Rose; “We’re gonna travel in spaceRegardless of any raceWe’re gonna meet some intelligent species out there got 15,000 colors in his face …I’ve got the color-blind blues

So, for the first time, I had enough money to warrant getting an investment advisor at my bank- just before everything went sideways. He keeps on telling me how much better off I am because I insisted on investing mainly in Canadian, not American entities…but they still went down. So the next time, I put it in GICs.

So Rat is a Blues Brother?

Eat your ❤️ out, Robert Johnson.

Tech stocks have been doing very well in the last few weeks. Especially Nvidia and Microsoft.

Rat has the first world angst and desperation taken care of there in his song. You go Rat.

I can think of a bunch of bigger hardships to write about.

Rat….You’re no Etta James!

Nobody leaves this place without singing the blues.

Here’s a Grunge depiction of that same idea, listen for a laugh. https://youtu.be/bwvlbJ0h35A

That is sad, although for different reasons.

What’id ya make, just send it in and that will surely do.

If republicans were gonna shut the government down why didn’t they do it on April 14?

Ringo: ♪ “Got to pay your dues if you wanna sing the blues” ♪

This is so meta.

Aw, just shut up and listen to the “theme song” from inspector gadget 2, “up, up, up” and cheer up already, will ya?! Dan aka….

“Well, I met a man who sang the blues”

I used to love the blues, then I went to counseling.

I am feeling much better now.

On that jazzy note, how about scatting?

♫ Well I gotta get drunk

And I sure do dread it

‘Cause I know just what I’m gonna do

I’ll start to spend my money

Calling everybody honey

And wind up singing the blues ♫

He’s got those steadily depressin’ low down mind messin’ not so smart investin’ blues.

Hey, Rat, have you considered joining with the Blues Brothers?

An instrument cannot play the blues unless it’s been in a pawn shop. Fact.

Monty Burns’ Blues

Mr. Burns:Oh I live me in a mansionFull of those Grecian urnsBut I’m lonely all the livelong dayThat’s the blues of Monty BurnsBack-up singers:He’s got the blues.The “I’ve-Got-No-Problems Blues”!Mr. Burns:Oh, my tapestry’s medieval,My heart, it’s evil, too.But that don’t mean I don’t need loveFrom lesser types like you.Back-up singers:He’s got the blues!The "Old-and-Frivolous-White-Man Blues’!

But can blue men sing the whites?

Mine was doing great, till I gave it to Financial Advisors. Now, I live in a van down by the river.

https://youtu.be/mhymcCYC3jk

In the ‘70s Albert Collins wrote a song about credit cards. It’s pretty funny.

Rat only likes “The Blues Brothers” because of all the massive,unpunished proeperty damage that goes with the title

Rat’s taking stock of his stocks.

Let me tell you a story, ’bout the tech stock blues..

One bourbon, one scotch, one beerWell I ain’t seen my baby since I don’t know whenI’ve been drinking bourbon, whiskey, scotch and gin

G.T.

My favorite “blues” song is “Jimmy Cracked Corn”… because I don’t care.

Martin Mull 1970s “suburban blues” — “Woke up this mornin, both cars was gone”. He called it a form of Delta Blues — though the Lake Erie Delta is not among the world’s greatest.

Forget ‘first world problems’. These are ‘self-centered jerk’ problems.

My favorite blues is from a Kliban’s Cats comic where the blues playing cat is singing, “Love to eat them mousies. Mousies what I love to eat. Bite they little heads off. Nibble on they tiny feet”.

Rat’s got those 401 K Blues? How did Rat ever get a 401 K?!