Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for May 14, 2023

I’m having difficulty visualizing this…….

I used to fold my arms under mine.

Once we ladies hit a certain size (DD and up), sports bras can’t do anything save be decorative. No, we won’t use duct tape. OW. Back when I could run, I’d have to do it with an arm across my chest to prevent two black eyes. Try that when running to a code blue.

This kind of reminds me of the scene in American Grafitti, where Curt (Richard Dreyfuss) is holding his hand over his shirt pocket as he runs, so his pens wouldn’t fly out of his pocket protector. That was a very realistic detail, and one us guys were all familiar with in the ’60’s.

Sounds as if there’s a need for upper body “Jane straps.” In pairs, of course.

Fat old boozer running for another bottle?

There was a time when I was a lot more buff than I am now and had pectoral muscles that were substantial. The issue was when I ran and my T-shirt got sweaty, they would chafe.

I was relating this issue to the staff of my wife’s business (three women). The office manager who had daughters who were 11 and 13 at the time, suggested that I wear a training bra and told me she knew where I could get one.

I responded, no need, I’ll just raid the top drawer of my wife’s dresser.

And then the fight was on!

Fortunately, my wife has a good sense of humor, I got away with a punch in my arm.

Do your boobs hang low

do they wobble to and fro

can you tie ’em in a knot

can you tie ’em in a bow

can you throw ’em over your shoulder

like a continental soldier

Do your boobs hang low?

What’s the difference between a young girl and an old girl ? The young girl is a 44D and the old girl is a 44 long.

She got tired of having to leave the path for a Head Injury Assessment. (Rugby acronym used = HIA).

I’ve had to do it, even when I’m wearing a bra! Big boobs tend to bounce, and they HURT!!

I sometimes have to sort of push my upper arms tight against my sides with my lower arms parallel to the ground, and tighten up all chest muscles to avoid black eyes. It works pretty well and looks better than what Aunty does.

Have you tried cargo straps?

Now that all the men here have enjoyed making fun of older women’s boobs, I have a question: what would be the aging male equivalent to Aunty’s dilemma?

She lost me at the running part.

She probably has to hold them up or she would trip on them.

Happy Mother’s Day!!

Get a good bra!