Close to Home by John McPherson for April 25, 2023

I guess you’ll will have to eat outside Brother Thomas.

Is Brother Thomas the only one who made a vow of silence?

“It doth little good for thy soul, Brother Thomas, shouldst thou keep thy vow yet violate the 5th Commandment.”

What about your vow, Brother Loquacious?

What this scene needs is a campfire, beans, and Slim Pickens.

Shouldn’t he be writing that rebuke on an illuminated scroll? I mean it’s a silent cloistered order right?

Which is better, a Deep Bass fart, a high alto squeaker, or the Infamous S.B.D (Silent but Deadly)?

SBD…“Saintly but Deadly”Brings a new meaning to a movement of the spirit

Speak to me sweet lips that never told a lie !

Then why are you talking?

You are very welcome John, keep ’em coming! Very appreciated.

Hey, Brother Loudmouth; hows about shutting up?

Distension in the ranks.

I don’t think that end counts.

Vow of silent but deadly?

The Poopsmith from Homestarrunner was also under a vow of silence.

Ahh he’s talking out his butt again……..

But the monk who is talking is breaking HIS vow of silence. He must be the liberal one in the group, since he thinks rules are for everyone else but not him.

Butt there are no words …

He didn’t finish his statement…

“… but on the other hand, what was that tune you were whistling, Brother Thomas? It was kinda catchy!”

“… it was Sweet Georgia Brown… and I wasn’t whistling!”

Brother Thomas, soon to be a giant gas bag hanging from the ceiling.

I’m wondering if this was inspired by Mason Williams or Mel Brooks?

This too shall pass!

There’s nothing quite like a quiet odor.

Needs to start doing some SBDs (Silent But Deadly)

Um, Bleeb? Don’t be fooled by those dresses . . . I mean robes. Those are dudes, Bleeb.

It was silent but deadly.

You forgot your hearing aids.

For those that are familiar with the History of the World Part 1, I am sure you recognize that the commandment Brother Thomas broke was the 13th commandment. It was on the third tablet Moses dropped. Oy vey, such a butter fingers that Moses was.

Are you referring to his stomach or “exhaust pipe”?

piffle. God made gas to pass and it was funny. So sayeth the masses.

Silent but deadly LOL

I can’t imagine WHERE you get your ideas. This one is a good example. I never know what I’m going to see. Good Job!

“Do you not realize I have had diarrhea since Easters?!”

Silence is golden…………………………………..and deadly.

Interesting concept here: the Trappists (strict observance Cistercians) have a vow of silence, but they do “cheat” a little using hand signals when absolutely necessary — no conversations, you know!

Anyway, today’s question is (of course), “What is the hand signal for passing gas?”

Just consider it a critique of the foods here.

Those silent ones re the worst

Sweet violets —There was a young fellow from Sparta, who could flatulate ballads and airs,He could blow out a Mozart sonata, and accompany musical chairs;One day he attempted an opera – it was hard, but he just wouldn’t quit -With his head held aloft, he suddenly coughed – he collapsed in a mountain ofchorus:Sweet violets, sweeter than all the roses,Covered all over from head to foot, covered all over with snow.

He’s merely exercising the sanctity of farting.

Silent but deadly was the regrettable solution.

Silent, but deadly!

8^)

That is funny, I needed a good laugh today, thanks John…

Those silent ones can smell the worst.

And what about the cook monk’s vow of silence?

Cabbage casserole? Sounds so inviting!

The silent farts are the killers

Distension in the ranks.