Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 23, 2023

Pig might sue the Genie for violating a common law contract.

Pig gsve the lamp the rub and got the brush off at the same time!

“Don’t stop rubbing, though.”

If wishes were fishes…

Genie looks strangely like Pastis.

The wishes are like the genies, they go POOF.

This makes me think of a Twilight Zone “The Man In The Bottle” where a couple were granted 4 wishes. I do not remember the whole episode but one wish was for a million dollars which the tax man promptly took all but $5 back from them and then the man made another wish, this time to be a leader of a modern and powerful nation who cannot be voted out of office. He is suddenly Hitler in his Berlin Bunker in 1945. He uses his next wish to go back to his shop….

Anyhow, I can see Pig burning a wish on cheese and pizza and Rat likely doing what the man in the Twilight Zone did though he might also wish for an unlimited supply of beer.

This is a Genieless! Alas!

Pastis is the genie?

Okay, my wish is to get the politics out of the SCOTUS by making nonpartisan Justices more valuable. Must be something wrong with the idea, but I’m still too dumb to figure it out. (And even that’s how it used to be…)

Thers’s a shortage of genies now? What next?1 (P.S. I liked Barbara Eden better)!

Count yourself lucky. There’s always a catch to these things.

Poor Pig must feel like a genie-ass!

Why waste time with limited resources when you can call on the One Who has unlimited resources?

I didn’t know that all the genies were connected in some way, so their workloads caused burnout. That is just cartoon weirdness.

Supply chain issues

Or is that genie just making excuses so he doesn’t have to grant any wishes?

Given the split in ideologies, many contradictory things.

Genie, is there any possibility i could receive inter-galatic one-ness?

And apparently, not one of them wished for universal mental health. Either that, or it’s so complex that even magic can’t achieve it.

If you want something to happen, go make it happen.

“Yes, and that was your first wish.”

Sad indeed.

Hilarious !

If only I could find a genie that hasn’t burnt out.

Just one of the many who have excuses why they can no longer do thier job or arrive to it on time

I’ve always wondered why, when someone was granted his or her three wishes, s/he didn’t just hand the lamp to a friend.

’O, I wish I was an Oscar Mayer Weiner.

He’s really sore about the live-action remake of Aladdin.

Hoping and wishin…it’s all we can do….

I only need one wish:

An end to suffering (poverty, famine, abuse, etc.) for all people and animals.

Jock was walking on his favorite beach in Queensland when he spotted some shiny metal sticking up out of the sand. On inspection, it turned out to be an old oil lamp. He picked it up and brushed it off, and in doing so he released the genie who’d been trapped inside.

“Hi, there”, said the genie. “I’m an ancient genie who’s been trapped for way too long in that tiny little lamp, and I want to thank you properly for freeing me. May I grant you a wish?”

“Um, isn’t that supposed to be THREE wishes?”, asked Jock.

“Come on, dude, don’t be greedy. I was just an apprentice genie in the first place. That’s how they trapped me so easily in this crummy little lamp. Smash the crap out it if you would, by the way. God, I hate that thing! Anyway, all I’ve got in me is one wish. What’ll it be?”

Jock paused a bit in thot. “Well”, he finally said, “I’ve always gotten on real well with me mate Bob. He’s m’brother, y’know, but he up and took off for America nearly a decade ago and now he lives near Hollywood. Wanted to break into acting and all, but it hasn’t been going well and he can’t afford to fly back and visit. I myself am terrified of flying, so I guess what I’d like most is a big long highway from here in Brisbane up to Los Angeles so I can drive my Holden up there to surprise him.”

“Are you deaf, man? Didn’t you hear me say that I was only an APPRENTICE genie? Do you know how much work a highway all the way across the Pacific Ocean would involve? It would be a challenge for the greatest genies of all time! Now get real and ask me for something reasonable.”

“Oh, OK. Sorry. Umm, how about if you can let me understand women?”

“So, would that be a 4-lane or 6-lane?”

“With inflation, you only get half a wish now "

The genie looks like how Stephan Pastis draws himself.

“Fairy tales can come true…..they can happen to you…

if you’re How-ard Hughes…….DEAN MARTIN 1966

The mighty Djinn said, “We’ve got too many people wishing for too many things.”

“Can we cure that?” Pig asked. “Can you make seven billion people disappear without anyone suffering?”

“Yes,” replied the Djinn, "I can pick seven billion people at random, remove them instantaneously, and remove all memory of them from those who remain. No-one would suffer.

But we would still have too many people wishing for too many things."

Well, also, it’s more genteel to wait for the genie to offer you the wishes. Pig comes across as a little too, what, needy?

Personally, I’d keep trying till the original Barbara Eden showed up.

The genie is like Barack Obama. He’s dead, but he still has to grant wishes.

I dream of Jeannie.

This would be my luck XD

With inflation it should be at least five wishes now.

I’ve got a Genie in my garage. It opens and closes the door.

Too true, Pig. But that Cartoon-Boy lookalike genie gives up too easily. Is there a “Genie-in-a-Lamp” BBB? x