Close to Home by John McPherson for June 14, 2023

I’ve never been on a plane. But i understand you never want to give them any ideas.

just this minute got off a plane and this comic ain’t far wrong!

Flew to Toronto, 737 each way. Going was fine, return flight had no room at all to stretch.

I could see something like this becoming a thing.

https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/chaise-longue-double-level-airplane-seat-returns/index.html

Old news. They already sell extra leg room on some airlines. $10/in would be a steal.

Airlines no longer have to advertise the true price of a flight only the base price. The other 100s of dollars will be a surprise for you. Like the $50 seat belt charge or the $30 air charge! Need a tray? Pay up.

Good! Then I’d like to purchase another couple of yards, but not because I’m uncomfortable, I just wanna be over on the other side of the plane with the weird people arguing and that guy with the therapy ostrich… ‘cause this side of the plane just ain’t comical enough.

Very logical business. As Americans get bigger, with more obese citizens, the airlines made smaller seats with less leg room. Money talks!

Good thing I’m short. What do people over 6’ tall do!

You could pack more people into the plane if they were all standing up.

That is the truth! Airlines would charge for breathing if they thought they could get away with it.

No thanks. I will just fly First Class. It would be cheaper on the long run.

$30 for three more inches would be worth it.

The only way I can see they could provide more legroom on an inch-by-inch basis would be to raise the seats toward a standing position. Which I wouldn’t put past them.

This kind of stuff is why I quit flying. I recently watched video on the new “double decker” planes. Nope… Just NO.

The only thing extra I would pay for on a plane is a baby free flight. I don’t hate babies. I hate screaming.

MSP to London was more like $100 per inch from main cabin to “comfort plus” (one step above main cabin).

My $5 would hit the ground so hard it would Bounce! Imagine 50" more leg room!

I think they call that FIRST CLASS

If only this were a) just a joke, and b) actually an option…

Sounds like my old data plan on my previous carrier

First Class is the only way to fly!!! Nice warm lemon scented wash towel to clean my hands. My favorite Chardonnay. Actual silverware. Crystal goblets. Linen napkins. Comfy wide leather seats. Plenty of leg room. Senior flight attendants who are relaxed and not harried and so cool to interact with since they have the time to chat with me.

I used to fly quite a bit years ago. Thank goodness those days are long gone. Lack of legroom would be the least of my worries on a plane anymore!

Is there a little crank to move the seats apart?

Speaking of leg room, looks like Bleeb has made a big score in that area.

My son is 6’ 4" but always flies coach. I couldn’t understand until he explained the price difference between coach and first class. He’d rather be cramped than pay it.

And your extra inches gets taken away from the seat in front of you?

Ten’s of dollars well spent…

In case of an emergency, oxygen masks will descend. Your supply of oxygen will be provided with a modest $10 fee.

I remember having to suffer while flying coach/economy class when I was in the Navy. I have long legs and now I have osteoarthritis, to boot, so I sure don’t want to be flying on this airline! When the wife and I flew to/from Hawaii about two years ago, we went first class all the way.

I have not flown since they allowed dogs and other critters in the passenger cabin. No way!

Airlines: the most arrogant and disrespectful industry on the face of the earth. A pox on all of them. I used to enjoy flying, but haven’t been on a plane in almost 20 years and God willing I will never fly again.

I grew up in the airlines back in the 1950s and 60s and have spent many an hour since then traveling in Business Class when paid for by the companies that wanted me to arrive functional, and in coach when I was paying for it. One thing I’ve noticed is that coach class has gotten progressively worse over the last few years to the point that I can no longer sleep on long distance flights. The seats are too cramped, with almost no ability to recline, and in some airlines the cushions are a joke.