Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 28, 2023

It’s now X justice.

In Twitter we trust (sort of)

Don’t threads on me

He looked again and found that four of those cases were about him, but it was too late.

He’s faster than Judge Judy!

Rat uses ChatGPT to do his research and check the facts.

Hunches are the key to swift. Justice is quite a bit more picky.

Also works in Congress.

If your in our party, you are naturally innocent, If you are in the other party, you are automatically guilty; and who needs any pesky facts.

Rat spot on, as so often. Is that product placement on the mobile/cell? Hum, a nashi?

Judgemental – you have to be mental to judge.

Here come the judge.

Another short-lived job for rat: Not only is Twitter dead, it’s not gonna be a social media app anymore.

They used to be called “tweets”. Now what do we call them: “Xeets”?! :D

The defendants will probably be blue afterwards.

And now “someone” can’t sue him for using a logo that no longer eXists.

Everyone is guilty on social media.

Using machines to moderate and enforce rules is LOUSY, but if you own the website, you can make the rules, even if it’s a very big website. SMALLER websites often actually kick people off for their political opinions, and nobody cares. And it was just Twitter. So why do we care so much?

The bird is no more. He has ceased to be. He’s expired and gone to meet his maker. He’s kicked the bucket, he’s shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleeding choir invisible. This is an X-Twitter!

You can’t render a verdict unless it also serves personal political axe-grinding.

Stephen, get with the times! “Twitter” is so last week… now its “X”, which is a placeholder for “fill in your own cuss word” I think…

Oh, PLEASE set Rat loose on Reddit/AITA. That would make it even more entertaining!

We’ve gone from social media to antisocial media (are you listening Elon?).

Just make a big enough contribution and your charges will be dropped

“Court of Twitter Justice”…what was known in the pre-internet days as “a wild-eyed, shouting mob waving pitchforks and torches”

Court o’ Twitter is always unjust.

Rat has the key to Taylor Swift??!! Boy, I’m impressed.

So that’s who replaced the ousted, liberal, soft-on-criminals DA from St. Louis!

According to Ripley’s Believe It Or Not, the Hanging Judge was well hung.

Stephen really went out on a lead-time limb here…

I just got called for jury duty. Again. I’ve gotten at least a dozen jury summons.

Swift, but consistent!

Well, our current Supreme Court prefers prejudice to hunches, but the rate of speedup is the same.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQ5YU_spBw0

Didn’t the Head Twit fire those people already?

If you are expecting to be treated with fairness and dignity, you have the wrong Internet.

The only thing faster than hunches is prejudice.

I have no idea what any of you are talking about. I suspect that I do not want to know. (But I am glad that we are done with the sad story of Pig’s heart because that made me feel very bad)

I guess it’s fair to describe Judge Rat as “a hanging judge.”

Judge Rat, meet Judge Dredd!

Just judging the tweets themselves?

Please let Rat be the judge at a Trump trial