Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for December 02, 2023

Goat should learn to use words like “let me introduce you to…”; or “I would like you to meet..”; or even “…this is…”

Things didn’t end well for Pig…

Some people do dig Welles. Ever see his wine commercials?

my father worked in a ship yard…

Nice!…a couple of breaks from the negative stuff in the form of Crocs (good to have them back!) and silly puns. Good stuff.

Wait until he meets Helen Hunt and Mike Hunt.

Pig-dog!

Wait until he meets the two Irish gays: Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick.

Dug wells? Water you saying Goat?

My #1 favorite Dawn Welles!

Is Doug any relation to Orson?

Where’s the panel were Stephan is about to get his… He deserves it this time.

Welles had very good wine commercials.

Abbot and Costello will have a field day with this.

Pig had much the same reaction to Phil Welles…

Wasn’t Wells the bartender on Bachelor in Paradise?

Goat’s comment to his friend regarding Pig … “Welles come to my world.”

Well, well, well—what a deep subject!

“What a strange introduction.” Did he also meet the Doctor?

A reverse pun.

I dug Wells, especially War of the Worlds and The Time Machine.

OK, let me rephrase that. Pig, this is my friend, Doug Welles.

Yes, Doug Wells, Pig.

If Goat’s friend was named Diglas instead of Douglas, then Pig would be out there now, digging.

Has Pig ever been in a poke?

If his last name was Graves, he’s have a Svengoolie segue.

different spelling, swiped from the internet (goes downhill faast after this)..

> Doug Wells was a resident of Missoula, Montana, who killed the serial killer Wayne Nance.

pig had a hard time reading The Invisible Man and War of the Worlds

One of worst feelings is when you introduce two people to each and you totally forget one of person’s name and you don’t realize that you forgot their name until you open your mouth to say it.

Thanks Steph — good way to start my day.

Earth to PIG, HELLO?

Good thing Pig doesn’t live in the desert, where he’s have to dig a well or two

I see that Pastis had finally come to the end of the popular cartoonist instructional book: 10,000 Cartoon Puns

True story. I was in college my freshman year, and the guy next to me introduced himself. I live in a town called Tewksbury, and the next town over is called Billerica, which is pronounced bill-ri-ca. My new friend’s name was Bill Ricker. So when he said that, my natural response was “Tewksbury.” It took a few minutes to straighten out that confusion.

Orson Welles was OK, but H. G. Wells was much better.

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and legs at the bottom of a hole?

A: Doug.

If you want to confuse Pig even more, introduce him to Seymour Butz.

Groan.

Pig’s unambiguity is ill-fated when he hears “Doug Welles” as “dug wells.” It’s not easy being Pig!