Pickles by Brian Crane for December 19, 2023

That’s the worse excuse I have every heard or read.

Can you even tell when cabbage goes bad?

Riding in a car with Earl after bad cabbage could be hazardous.

Does that “cabbage” happen to taste like chocolate ice cream?

Now stuffed cabbage might be good!

… then there’s those beans and lentil, brussels sprouts, broccoli … best also drink up that milk.

One chance in a thousand he would have said Yes. But she asks anyway, just for the entertainment value of his excuses.

Sorry. There is some wet paint that won’t dry unless I watch it.

Never ask a man if he WANTS to go shopping. There’s a 90% chance the answer is NO.

I was saving that cabbage for Santa!

I wouldn’t want to be in that house after he eats the cabbage…stay gone long.

Better to shop without a man, Opal. You should know this by now. They always rush you and look in your cart and say “Do you really need that?” Leave him home!

Many, many years ago I was giving out samples of fruit flavored yogurt in a grocery store, which was a fairly new product at the time. I asked one little old lady if she’d like a sample and she made all sorts of faces and gagging noises. As she walked away, I muttered, “A simple, No thank you would have sufficed.” Another woman was standing nearby and smiled at me. “My, I’m glad you said that”, and pointed to her young daughter, who was standing in front of her. Then she picked up two samples and gave one to the little girl, telling her “This is really good. Almost like ice cream.”

He can’t, he has to wash his hair

Given the crowds and the way they act, I’m with Earl on this one (minus the excuses…)

And the toupee is long gone…

Guess who’s getting COAL in their STOCKING

A variant of " I love you more than Brussels sprouts"

it’s his own version of “simple no” with extra…flowers. hehe

Any old excuse in a storm!

What’s so exciting about cabbage?

Earl’s just being a sauerkraut.

Shame on you Earl. Get off your lazy Butt and go with your wife!

Good cabbage is very tasty.

Guess who is getting cabbage sandwiches for dinner?

hmmm…decisions, decisions…

Oh, Opal, where’s the candles?

My stepdad (RIP) loved to go shopping with mom. The only place he refused to go into was the fabric shop, after the time the cutting table ladies ignored him because they assumed he was “just waiting for someone” even though he was standing there with a bolt of fabric in his hands, trying to get their attention.

Earl must have run out of other excuses.

Oh, petit chou, what are you doing in Earl’s fridge?

He needs the methane to warm them through the night.

How could cabbage ever go bad?

My day is spent talking to people who can’t answer simple questions with yes or no.

I had a housemate between wives whose idea of a good tome was to pack a picnic meal on Christmas Eve and go downtown or to a mall and sit down and eat and have a good time talking and laughing while all the shoppers were going crazy. My present wife likes that idea and would do that with me when we were living in San Francisco. She would also like to hang out at the post office on 15 April. Dr and Mrs Teto say どうもありがとうございます。Fujiko-chan.

So, will that cabbage actually be gone when she gets back?